Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

Life is like a Visit to the Antique Shop

Life is like a visit to an antique shop.

Indulge me while I continue to relate problem solving to issues raised in Finnley’s poem. Specifically the idea that once we define a problem we zero in on a solution and our focus moves into the solution window, i.e. into the box. As mentioned earlier, once the problem is defined and framed by the facts the solution is inside the box.

My father told me once that to get people to listen you have to tell them three times. If I seem to repeat myself I could claim to be following my father’s advice but the sad truth is that I often forget what I’ve said and repeat myself. Where was I now…ah yes, Life might be a box of chocolates to some but to me it’s a visit to an antique shop.

A German antique dealer taught me most of what I know about antique shops and the patrons that visit them. Once he said something that struck me as profoundly true. He said when a customer comes to visit they are usually looking for something specific…they have an item in mind. Maybe they are a collector looking for something to fill out their collection, maybe they are looking for a type of item that excites their fancy, but they are usually looking for something in particular. This is to say they have defined the category of their search…they have drawn the box and in the sea of beautiful objects displayed in the store only a few will catch the attention of the shopper.

He went on to tell me that the shopper will only see those objects in that narrow search range…They could walk by the companion piece to the Mona Lisa and would pay it little heed so focused are they on finding…for example a Hummel figurine circa 1950.

In Finnley’s poem this is what is happening with the Gentleman in the poem the and it happens to us all the time. Once we define that box forget about anything outside. My wife wakes up and proceeds to define her entire day. She has a huge microprocessor for a brain and darn near unlimited storage space (she doesn’t forget anything….even though I sometimes wish she would) Everything about the day gets decided as she sits drinking her coffey in the morning and when she finishes her agenda for the day snaps shut. If I talk to her while she is deciding matters she is very amendable to change, however once the book closes that is the way she wants it to be. When I start making her change her plans on the fly she gets upset. She pretends it doesn’t bother her but it does.

The point to understand is that once we define matters we become focused and are no longer interested in the forest….we are in the tree looking mode.

Often we hear the term…"that a person can think outside the box." This usually involves a socially defined box in which everyone generally accepts the parameters and looks for the solution therein. For example if we need some cash, we can write a check, use a credit card, or go to the bank and get a loan. Most people define such a problem as… "I need to determine the best way to get some cash," and come up with possibilities that are legitimate and commonly acceptable. Criminals however, think outside the legitimate box. They have relaxed the criteria of legal constraint and have more options…they can write a bad check, come up with a scam, pick a pocket, rip off a handbag, or rob a bank. In the world of Education there are also standards that frame the world in which children are educated and most teachers operate within the box trying their best to do their job. Sometimes however standards are imposed by the system that cannot be easily met and instead of meeting them the institutions relax the criteria. For example 85 percent instead of 90 equals an "A."

What this leads to in problem solving is that if you don’t like the range of possibilities you can relax the decision criteria until you get a broader range of possibilities to work with. That is a dynamic of problem solving and people use it all the time. If we let other people define our problems, or we do so too narrowly than the outcomes will be fewer and perhaps more difficult to accomplish…Childen are smart and are always trying to get parents to relax the child rearing criteria.

In Finnleys’s poem the Gentleman never did solve his problem. His criteria were too restrictive. We encounter problems we never solve…maybe it's trying to decide the best way to make a marriage work…. Finding the job best suited to our talents and style of living, or trying to determine the best way to get published. When many people are competing for limited resources or you find yourself pitted against a thinking adversary, doing the first thing that pops into your head isn’t always going to work. Resorting to violence is probably not going to work. Expecting written and unwritten rules to frame your problems will not always work. You have to move beyond doing nothing or reacting in accordance with your emotions or glands…While most people don't use reason to solve their problems, enough do to skim the gravey...if you are satisfied with potato soup don't bother reading any further.

I will get on to courses of action…I promise. I can already see the yawns.