I'm Studying You

Bleeding a little for the greater good.

Good evening Studyees. If I don't get this out here and now, I never will.

I can't value the "love" someone has for me when one side of her mouth is telling me to "take care of yourself first" and the other side is calling me a "selfish, spoiled brat". I cannot take that person truthfully when she abandons the life her family has known for many, many years just for some guy who's scumbagged up her life; for someone her familiy dislikes and distrusts. And the playful way she's handling every bit of drama in my life is making her look worse for the wear, and I cannot defend her in any good faith, no matter what she has done for me throughout the course of my life. Her seeds have been sown, by her own misdeeds and malcontent.

And I want to continue this rant, but I can't. It still builds up too much anger inside me, and I'm gonna get really heated and angry over details. I can't do this right now. I tried, and it's not gonna work out to be enjoyable for any of us.

My dad's ok but not where we think he needs to be yet to be let out of the hospital. There's a lot of conflict in the family, of between what we all think is "family" And if I go on any further, I might explode. I can't deal with this anymore.

Goodnight y'all.