Once Upon...

It Came Rushing Back

The next few days, Naomi tried really hard to forget about seeing Jackson. She had one bad moment where she'd allowed herself to cry until she was empty as some of the memories flooded her, but she had done well otherwise. Work kept her busy to where it wasn't all that hard to forget. She had three weddings and two family reunions, plus a couple of family portraits.

If she wasn't taking the pictures, she was editing and composing them. She was framing and compiling the packages together and getting ready to mail them. Her studio was the garage she had remodeled. She wanted it away from the house and the garage was a perfect space. It was large enough and she had the room to section off a small room where she had a computer with editing software and the Internet.

Often enough Sam would keep her company while she edited, printed, compiled and packaged. He gave her someone to talk to and she'd pretend he listened. She always felt as though he did even if he never showed it.

She'd been working on a package for a wedding she'd done the week before. It had been a large wedding, nearly three hundred guests and many of them had been out of town, a lot out of state. She'd wanted to make sure to get pictures of everyone and all of these extras went onto a CD. The wedding had been gorgeous and very simple considering the large amount of guests and the wedding party, but it had been simple in the most beautiful of ways.

When Sam rustled at her feet, she glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. It was almost seven. She usually tried to close up shop at five, so she could have an early dinner. Tonight wouldn't be the case.

She closed down the computer and all of her notes were slid into a folder and put away. As she turned off the light, she heard something outside, sounding like someone was coming up the long driveway.

"Who could that be?"

Sam kept close to her as she opened the door and stepped out and nearly fainted. It was Jackson's car. Her heart thudded in her chest, so loud she was sure he could hear it as she watched him climb out of his car. It was a beautiful black Lexus. It was sleek and shiny and seemed so odd and out of place against her aging rust bucket.

She didn't know what to do. She couldn't pretend she wasn't home, her car was right next to his. Then she watched as Sam crossed the drive way and began sniffing at Jackson as he removed his sunglasses and looked around. He stopped and leaned down to pet Sam and of course Sam licked his hand. She did everything she could to not roll her eyes at the all too trusting dog.

Sucking it up and taking a deep breath, she walked in the same direction Sam did and watched as Jackson looked up and watched as she approached him. Nothing was said for a few minutes before he spoke up, his voice still as deep and smooth as it had been years before.

"How are you, Naomi?"

She laughed softly. "How am I? Haven't you been talked to by half of the town yet? You haven't heard the gossip?"

He nearly flushed. "I'm serious. I talked with Frank, he says Louise comes up here sometimes to talk with you."

She shrugged and walked past him to walk up the porch steps, Sam followed. "I'm alright as can be expected, I suppose. I'm better than most of the town will let you think. I ate at Frank's tonight and they all stared as if I was some stupid oddity. I have four heads and twenty eyes." She looked off towards the woods behind her house. "It's the first time I've gone to eat in town since...God, since six years ago. It felt so nice that I didn't even care if they stared."

She could feel his eyes on her and it made her jumpy, her heart still pounding in her chest. "If you want to come in, you're more than welcome. Come on Sam, lets get you some dinner."

As she went inside, she heard Jackson's steps up the porch and eventually heard him come inside as she ventured into the kitchen. She could feel her pulse hammering and her heart was still going at it in her chest. She tried to calm herself down, thinking of something else besides the fact that Jackson was closer than he'd been since he left. She could literally reach out and touch him if she dared and she almost wanted to. Any hatred, any resentment she held for him had dissipated the second she saw him get out of his car.

"I'm sorry, Naomi."

Once it was out she couldn't help herself as her eyes filled. "Oh, Jackson."

Then she felt his arms around her, holding her close. She could hear his heart thundering in his chest, matching hers. It was in this safety net of his arms, the wonderful protection of him that her tears led to a sob and she grabbed his shirt as the tears poured. She'd allowed him to leave, she'd basically forced him to go. Then hated him when he did. How could he want to be here now? All this lost time, all the lost memories were her fault.

When she stopped, she wiped her nose with the back of her arm and she stepped back. "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be sorry. I shouldn't have left you. You needed someone and I was just mad that I couldn't fix what was broken and that you wouldn't come with me."

She turned around to face him. "I shoved you away. I did it without realizing it. Then I hated you when you left. I was a mess, Jackson. I was still a mess 'til today when I realized that their case might never get solved and then I'd be wasting my life for what? What if I never do a thing I want to do again in my life just because I wanted to prison myself, to prove something to no one. I've become the town joke for what? I made myself stay here and become the town joke because I thought I could get something accomplished, but I got nothing done."

"You're the strongest woman I've ever seen. You might go about things a little unorthodox," He smirked and touched her cheek. "but you wanted to take charge, you wanted justice for your parents. It took a lot of guts to do what you did."

How could it feel as if everything was as it had been six years ago? How could she feel so comfortable, so... in love with him as if life hadn't twisted and dropped out beneath her six years before. "I don't know about guts, about being strong. I've been a chicken shit is what I've been. I've hid here in my house, punishing myself because of what I've done since you left. What I did to cause you to leave. There's all this guilt and resentment and hatred of myself for things I did do and didn't do. I don't know if I'd call that anything except what it is."

Jackson looked at her and God help him if he didn't love her all over again. He didn't think he'd feel this way again just by being with her, by talking with her about the past. Driving here, he'd hoped that they could be friends, that they could talk without the resentment and the sadness and here he'd gotten so much more than, he thought, either one of them expected. He wanted to hold her and protect her, but everything was moving way too fast, it was like they were starting where they'd left off.

"I think it's that guilt that has your mind clouded. You're a very stubborn woman. You always have been whether or not you realize it. You were trying to take a stand, against the thoughts that nothing would happen and your parents' killer would go uncaught. That takes strength whether or not you believe it."

He saw the tears burning, ready to fall. "You are too nice to me, Jackson."

"I just know you. I know how your mind works."

Now that there was this renewed connection between them, he wanted to work on it again, but he wanted to take his time. Never in a million years did he think he'd be in this...moment, making these decisions. Though now it seemed to be right. The women he'd been with in New York City just seemed to be placeholders. In comparison they didn't matter, where this, where she did.

"I think you need to go, Jackson. I'm...I'm too vulnerable for you right now. Things could easily slip back into what they were without regard for what we've both been through." Naomi pulled away and Jackson let her, the same thoughts going through his own mind.

"I agree. I don't think we should stop seeing each other though. I, like you, didn't think that we'd be in this situation, so soon, but here we are. I've missed you, Naomi. I know you've been through a lot of shit, but I want to be there. Maybe I can cook you dinner? I'll call you and we can set up a date." He took her hand and brought it to his lips.

"I...I--"

"I'll call you." He smiled, knowing he wasn't going to let her talk herself out of it. He might not be able to go back in time and stop himself from leaving, but he was going to make up for all the time they'd lost. He was going to make sure of it.

Then he turned and walked out the door and Naomi just stared after him, wondering if she'd somehow stepped into some kind of third dimension.