Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

Storm Clean Up

Storm Clean-up

Three weeks ago we had a big storm…a huge oak split about 20 feet up and came crashing down in our front yard. Luckily it didn’t hit anything. Two people could join hands and not reach around it. I have a big Stihl chain saw and a special bar that is twice the size of what you normally see on the biggest saws in Wall Mart.

I also have a splitter that is semi-commercial. What that means is that it has a big motor, ram and heavy duty components. It also has a lift platform that you can roll the blocks from the trunk onto and raise them up onto the I-Beam. It is a powerful work aid. Even so I have to salami-slice the trunk of this tree very thin in order to be able to lift the blocks onto the splitter. The trunk alone is a full cord of wood….that is three of the face cords one normally buy at the wood lot.

Anyway I had already cut up the little stuff but had been avoiding taking on the huge trunk…that is until today. I had just finished writing another installment on my Frank and Beth series when Linda came into the bedroom and put her foot down. “Today we need to get the trunk down, split and put away.”

“How about if I get it on the ground and corded?”

“Deal!” she agreed, now get your lazy ass out of bed and get to work….its ten O’clock.

“Writing is work too,” I sniveled…“I burn a lot of calories writing. When I have a best seller you’ll be sorry you weren’t more encouraging.”

“You heard me,” she repeated…“Get up, get dressed and take care of that tree.”

It was a beautiful day outside as I set about collecting all the tree cutting paraphernalia. There was the saws…I have 5...they are for cutting different diameters of wood. Then there is the chain gas, a mixture of gasoline and two stroke oil, there is the oil for the chain bar, the chain wrench, a cant hook, files, gloves, safety glasses, hearing protectors, and a gauze mask. As I took inventory I found I had very little saw gas and the chain on my big saw needed some serious work by the saw sharpening guy. I can dress with the file but when the chain needs serious attention it goes to the saw man.

I got a start on cutting the tree down when I ran out of gas so it was off running errands. I came back and finished the prep work on felling the tree. Now what I had to do was give it a push with the bucket on the tractor. Linda’s car was in the way and QVC was at a moment of high excitement so I waited fifteen minutes for Linda to come outside. She moved the car from behind the tractor and walked over to watch the tree come crashing down. The Gator was a bit too close so I told her to move it, still a little ticked that it had taken her so long. She shrugged and said she didn’t know how to crank it….never did it before. After repeated failures I left the tractor and went over and explained the startup procedures. Must have been something in my tone but she was not very happy....eventually It fired up and she drove it out of the way. The tree was stubborn at first but then snapped and came crashing down as intended. I then spent the next hour blocking which is the slow torture of being shaken apart by the chain saws. Now I'm taking it easy…."recouperating" I think is the word. Retirement is great. A couple of tasks, a bottle of soda and its nap time.