Down the Rabbit Hole

And of the blackness

I started taking the pills again, those little blue bits that deliver me to quiet spaces and keep the blackness at bay. I move throughout my day, those pills knocking around in my pocket, their clinking sound like a sweet promise. Magda clicks her tongue at the back of my head, she thinks I can't see her disapproval but I feel it, crackling on the air all about my head and pressing up against my back like a lover's unwelcomed advance.
I travel through the days, past the parade of faces, the little conversations, the mundane tasks of keeping my machinery running, longing for that moment when I press the pills up against the roof of my mouth and sink into the oblivion.