Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

Coping with the "How dare you" response to a review.

Retaliatory and other types of negative critiques.

As of today "The Pageant" has climbed into the 160 view category and is less than two weeks into posting. I mentioned that my second most viewed work is "The Librarian"…Let me talk about that one. It was posted about a year and a half ago…

It too was entered in an erotica contest and to date stands at 141 views. I am still getting views on that one and it didn't even place in the contest. This is my most reviewed work…(not viewed, reviewed) .I think it got 9 reviews which leads far and away in that category. The range of responses was across the spectrum receiving some very high, average and the worst review I have ever gotten….The poor review was a retaliatory one from a member I had reviewed, who got into a heated exchange with me over some of the things I pointed out.

At the time I was not well socialized to the site and had the misguided notion that if I saw a “fatal flaw” in some ones work…you know a flaw that would cause a publisher to toss it out of hand into the discard heap that I had some sort of a moral obligation to point it out. I know, I know! BOY was I ever naeive. In this story she had written, was a rape scene where she described the women being assaulted as accepting the experience stoically and actually beginning to enjoy it. When I pointed out that this wasn’t, in my view, the way a rape went down she gave me one of those “How dare you question my word choice" responses and slammed me with the retaliatory review. What I found most interesting about the exchange was the notion of hers that since I was a newbie and she was a veteran member that I shouldn’t be criticizing her work and was determined to show me that the poor quality of my own writing didn’t entitle me to a negative comment on hers. It was a classic exchange that took place finally culminating in her trashing my here-to-fore most highly viewed work..

If it were to happen again I would simply ignore such a tirade but I was new at the time. Later, I had another bad experience with a senior female member who had written, what I thought then and still do, to be some pretty good stuff. I said some good things about her work but then happened on one that used an ethnic character that didn’t sound very ethnic…When I pointed this out she exploded on me with this same huffy “How dare you” nonsense. My question in her case was, how do you point out a fatal flaw to someone who is a smart fairly competent writer without getting the “How dare you response?” Now-a-days I sugar coat my responses a bit and while I'm sure that doesn’t do anything for the brighter writers I review, it has kept me out of trouble.

I don’t think that most writers realize that a comment that criticizes their work is a nugget in the rough. It’s a wakeup call to go back and take a closer look at something you've written….If the writer doesn’t have a personal axe to grind with you then use it for what it’s worth….if it isn’t worth anything then set it aside and get on with your life. There are writers who have emotional problems who are not going to respond well to negative comments regardless how valid….My advice is that when you find yourself in this situation that you ignore them for now and ever after and not stew about it. (for a year and a half.) Then again maybe I'm the one who needs some professional help.:)