A modest journal. |
Thursday, October 28, 2010, 10:44am Here I am at Starbucks... Got my shower and left the apartment because they're supposed to come in sometime and rotor-rooter the sewage/water drainage system. We have large Oaks and Pines around my apartment. It's a picturesque, homey, cool, quiet and comforting place to live. God loves me and looks out for me wherever I go... though He has allowed me to suffer tremendously---emotionally, physically and mentally---for the last several years. He says, "In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." Help me to rest in that knowledge, to "overcome the world," even as You have overcome the world. I'm not sure what I am to learn from this, but I am definitely coming to know Him (Jesus) through the "fellowship of his suffering." I honestly understand why as "He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, yet He opened not his mouth." I find myself sad, wanting to cry all the time. Never quite understood the plight of the "bullied" until this past year. Though I've suffered for sometime, never fully understood. Living in the USA, I always expected justice, civility, etc. If you do wrong, there is punishment. Never thought I'd suffer for doing right and/or for separating myself from wrongdoing. But it's not happening----not in where I dwell. Jesus says that "...we are 'in' the world, but not 'of' the world. I wish I knew my exact purpose so I could quickly fulfill it and move onto the next phase of eternity, my home in that celestial city... where there is no more crying. |