Vertago

Lazy Bum

              After graduating college, I had no ambition. The core requirements of
      the university had drummed any will power out of me. Basic math skills
      were a challenge to me and I nearly flunked French. My dad was less and
      less interested in me. He thought I was a moron. He could say it in French.
      I guess that's about the time I became a care giver. Mom's cancer was getting
      worse and she had parkinson's disease. She needed to be in full term care,
      but dad didn't want to pay for a nursing home at $7,000 to $10,000 a month.
      So, I started changing into Norman Bates.
            "Yes, mother.." was a common reply for me. I would struggle to peel
      off mom's depends as I held her shaking body over the toilet with my left arm.
      Exercise, involved a walker and a stationary bike for mom. I liked to lift weights
      in the basement. There was a basement window, looking up to the neighbor's
      bathroom window. Sometimes, Susan our neighbor would look at me from that
      window. I tried to look like I was power lifting. Somewhere, along this strange
      saga I started feeling up Susan.
            I would snow blow neighbor's walks and driveways. One evening Susan
      wrote me a check for $200. at her kitchen table. She was wearing a white bathrobe .
      The robe was not tided. I could see Susan's belly button and hairy parts.
      Well, that's when I ran my ice cold hand up and down Susan. She jumped and
      then giggled.. It was fornication. I enjoyed my lustful groping and sexual intercourse
      with Susan. Of course, I made confession before Mass. Dad insisted Mom and I
      attend the Mass every Sunday. This was a moral dilemma for me and a care giver's
      nightmare. The bathroom at the church was in the Sacristy to the right of the Alter.
      Mom needed to be changed regularly. So, I'd wheel her up the center isle to the Alter
      and kneel and pull open the gate in the Alter railing and yank the wheel chair up.
      Parishioners, complained that this was disrupting the service ... Mom had to stay
      home.+
          Dad still mailed in his donation to the church. I was pleased to have more
      time with Susan.  I like maintenance.