Ramblings of a Samurai and his Duct Tape

Wondering if I made the right choice

I had a chance to apply for a higher position at the casino two weeks ago. My direct supervisor was pushing me to put in for it. I decided to not put in for it this time. Wondering if I made the right move. At one point that was the whole goal, get to a floor position on the way to moving up the ranks. I was very distraught when I applied for it at the last casino I was at and someone else, who wasn't as qualified as I was and was quite weird did get it. A year ago I would have applied for this position in a heartbeat and been thrilled to get it. But when the time came around this month, I found that I didn't want it.


Curious how some soul searching can rearrange goals so much. They just announced the three people that got the promotion today, and I'm both pleased and surprised at those that got it. Ashley was easily the most deserving of it, there is no question in my mind that she should have gotten it. She has the best knowledge of craps of any dealer I know here, and if it weren't for her patience and teaching I might not be as good of a crap dealer as I am. I know I've still got tons of work to do to become better, but she is one of those that has helped me a ton.


The other two that got it, I don't really know. The one guy has always seemed on an even keel, though he tends to attach himself to some of the least stable people. I'm wondering if I had been in his situation if I would have put up with all that he did. Basically, was the sex he got from that psychopath worth it all? And the other guy that got it, he has calmed down a ton since his buddy and real bad influence got fired, but he still seems like an ass too often. I'm sure I could have beaten him out in getting the job, even though he does have more experience on craps than I do.


But I didn't apply so I'll never know. I found my ambitions to be a better writer and to someday get a novel or a dozen published made me want to stick with the easier less stressful job. Pay and hours would be about the same, maybe slight increase, but really a negligible amount. My peace of mind is too important. I have enough crazy contained and leaking out, don't need to add more to it. Yeah, I made the right choice.