Amygdalia's Blog

What to do . . . what to do?

My brain feels like a load of laundry tumbling in the dryer  . . . without the fabric softener sheet!

Here I am, trying very hard to get settled and establish some connections in our new town, but life keeps throwing me curve balls so that I've not really been able to slow down into a routine and find times to form many bonds with people.  Yes, my neighbors are wonderful.  Yes, they've said "please let me know if you need anything."  But am I ready to rely on that?  I'm just not sure. 

Bob called from work first thing this morning to let me know . . . his trip to the UK has been scheduled.  For early March.  We'd talked about this trip when he first took the job.  The kids and I were planning on going with him.  We got their passports and everything.  Then we really thought about the whole cost-of-taking-a trip-overseas-while-owning-two-homes thing, and decided maybe it wasn't such a good idea.  But when he called me this morning to tell me, I burst into tears.  I'd been cruising along, doing pretty well despite some stresses, but this past week I think it's all caught up with me, and I've been a mess.  Now thinking about being alone with the kids (the angry kids who will miss their Daddy and be pissed that we reneged on their trip to England; especially Goldilocks who spins utterly out of control at the drop of a hat) has me beside myself (really - can't you see the other me over there, peering over my shoulder?)  Add to that the fact that I really don't feel like I have anyone who can help me out during the week (and it would be a full week), and add to that the fact that yet again I feel left behind, and add to that the fact that I'm not yet at all comfortable with the workings of this house nor do I know where Bob stored many of the items not yet unpacked . . . and you get the frazzled, jumbled, dizzy mess that is my brain.

We talked again briefly this morning about all of us going on the trip, and I even started to do some research.  I just don't know if I can justify taking them out of school for an entire week.  Because the following month they'll be missing at least 4 days while we travel east for Passover.  Monkey I'm not concerned about.  He could miss the rest of the school year and absolutely pass every assessment to move on to 2nd grade.  Goldilocks, on the other hand, is struggling.  Her grades are not where they should be, mainly because she hasn't turned in many of the assignments needed to assess her knowledge (some of them are items assigned before she arrived). 

I just don't know what the right choice is, here.  *sigh*