Follow the Fortune Cookie

The Sliding Scale of Mood

"Rhythm is half silence."~Suheir Hammad
Currently listening to: "After The Storm" - Mumford & Sons
Currently reading: "The Gift of Tongues: Twenty-Five Years of Poetry from Copper Canyon Press" - Sam Hamill

Midterms - how the make the soul scream in terror. Interestingly enough, I've gotten professors this semester who either don't believe in midterms or replace the actual midterm with an extra project that sends the mind off into that land of utter abyss. So, technically, I only have one traditional midterm mixed in with other midterm-like assignments. Phrase that it way it doesn't sound too bad, except it is that bad. Melodramatic? Yes. Completely deserved given the circumstances? I'd like to think so.

The past couple of days I've been studying while trying to come out of my funk (explained in an earlier, hidden blog entry). This hasn't been exactly what I've been hoping for, but then, when is it really all what we hope for. The work I've been producing is a bit patchy and sketchy and unclear. I don't like it but I don't have the time to redo it either. <--- This is a horrible excuse; I know better than to use it. This is just how the days have been unraveling.

For example, I forced myself to head to be early last night (early meaning around midnight). I cut everything off and laid there with noise in the background, candle burning in the foreground, the words of my guy ringing in my head and the taste of chalk from the sleeping meds on my tongue. Sleep came and with it the nightmares. I woke up off and on all night. Damn it... I ended up more exhausted after "sleeping" than before it. By seven I called the whole experiment quits and took a shower, ready to hit the books before my exam this afternoon.

Then the first email arrives.

My Archaeology professor is one of the best I've ever had. She's funny, extremely intelligent, slightly flighty and loves what she does. She'll send massive emails to her classes just to tell everyone that there was funny/weirdness with one of her students. It can be hilarious/awkward at times, so I don't always pay attention. However, this morning, I happened to check my email. The first email from her was to let us know that the midterm was to be online. This was good and bad. I rock a full day of classes on Wednesdays and get home around 10:30 PM. This leaves me a little over than hour to take my midterm with the hope that nothing weird happens with the internet. Pressure, sure. But, at least, I could do it in my own environment, always a plus.

Then the second email came.

No class as she's super sick... Well hell, Earl. Extra study hours for sure, but that throws off the day as well. Still - fist pump in the air for extra time.

Then the third email.

Weirdness with Blackboard as limited access to exam. Status of availability to be determined...

Eight emails later I have determined two things: the exam due date is pushed back a day and that she must be bored out of her mind to keep sending us emails. So I have another night to study, excellent. I can also bake something and drop it off before my class tomorrow for extra credit as her daughter is having a bake sale tomorrow and she isn't feeling well to bake anything (I'm assuming).

My mood went from "fuck it all" to "oh hell yes!". Sure, it's more work for me but what the hell, right?

Off to study for something else now.