Love's Arithmetic

XVII: Tantivy

Garrett grew tired of sitting in the house, watching the monitors as Caer, as they had come to learn her name was, sat on the bed, not seeming to care, not eating well, never saying a word, and hardly ever moving. He couldn't help but know that it had been him who had put her in such a horrible state. By the end of the second day, he couldn't stand to keep looking at her, so sad and lonely. He desperately wanted to go to her and apologize for his atrocious behavior, but he couldn't. She wouldn't listen, and it wouldn't matter.


After watching her helplessly he left, hoping that by the time he got back she would have come to her senses and he would have gained control of his feelings. They were betraying him, keeping him from thinking straight, and causing an inner turmoil that he was having difficulty comprehending.


Since he had been a teenager he had always been in control. There had been no one else to fight him for the power, he was always left a clear path to greatness. Now, in his adult years, that path was a bit rockier, but he still held the undoubted role of leader, which gave him the ultimate amount of control. Garrett believed his need for control came from the helplessness as a child. He didn't want to feel that again, didn't like to feel it when it sprang upon him at moments of uncertainty. It was only when he lost his grip on what he already had, already knew, and already wanted, he began to feel powerless again.


Caer had taken control of him. His thoughts were filled with her, wondering what she was thinking, what odd expression was on her face, what strange comment would she make. He dreamt of her, she was always a white angel, pure and happy, so different from the woman that he knew. She had also become his number one priority. This weakness for her had increased after he had found her beaten half to death. He had defended her with all his might.


It had been hard to get rid of Toby, but necessary. However, Toby had been allowed to live. If for only one reason. He had saved Garrett's life at the beginning of their acquaintance. A life was not a simple matter, easily taken out like the trash. A life, especially one that you owed was a delicate subject. While Toby had not walked away with all of his fingers intact, he was still alive.





The fourth day after he had blown up at Caer, Garrett couldn't stay away any longer. He had left his small town house and rushed to the mansion where she was being held. It was late, around midnight or so. Raining, the thunder and lightning crashing down around him loudly. There was no escape from the rain, the cold rain, as he ran inside to the warmth of the house. By the time he had covered the distance of no more than twenty yards he had been soaked. I would hate to be out in this. He thought blandly.


Slamming the door he shrugged out of his coat, hoping that the shirt underneath it had managed to survive without being too wet. He wasn't very fortunate. His shirt, just like the rest of his person, was soaked. As he examined his clothing Brian came running down the steps a look of expectation in his eyes. He skidded to a stop and his expression turned to horror as he saw who stood in the foyer. "What's wrong?" He asked, beginning to feel wary as he watched the other man's face.


"Uh..." Brian struggled for words, and eventually shrugged and slumped his shoulders. "Caer is missing. We don't know for how long, but we think she's out in that storm. We're going to go get her, we only just realized she wasn't hiding in the house. When the door opened we thought that maybe she had come back, but I guess we were wrong.


Garrett could feel the anger and the fear building up inside him. Anger at Brian and David for being incompetent enough to let her escape, and fear that she was out in the rain alone. He remembered her reaction to thunderstorms and knew she must be terrified.





Fear so chilling and complete had never gripped Caer like it did now. She tried to keep her breathing even, tried to think happy thoughts, and tried to keep her mind off the thunder and lightning. Try was the key word. She tried, and failed miserably. It didn't help that somewhere along the way in her desperate attempt to escape she had pulled open the stitches in her leg from the knife Toby had wielded. The pain from her leg was blurring the edges of her vision. She wanted so desperately to embrace the blackness that threatened her, that clawed at her mind, that she knew would bring sweet relief, but she knew she couldn't. The moment she did, she was certain she was a dead woman.


Caer wasn't certain what to do entirely. If she didn't move soon the cold and the rain would get to her and dying of exposure. If she moved she ran the risk of stumbling, pulling open more stitches, and bleeding profusely, eventually dying of exposure. It seemed best to just wait out the storm in her small little shelter that did little to protect her from the rain. The breaks in the leaves allowed for the water to pour though, splashing her body continuously with frigid water. She was miserable.





Garrett had been searching for hours. He had been following what seemed the most obvious route, the clearest way though the undergrowth. He had no idea if it was the path she had taken. Oddly enough he truly feared losing her. She was in severe danger of death in these conditions and it terrified him that he wouldn't get to see her beautiful face again, illuminated with laughter or sarcasm. She was such a lively person that he couldn't imagine her dead. Her skin icy, no trace of a pulse, those captivating green eyes glassy with death. These horrible thoughts kept him going stronger than ever.


He felt as though an invisible force was pulling him in a certain direction. It was as he was following the direction that he caught a glimpse of white under a tree. Closer inspection made his heart stop. There, curled up in a ball, her lips blue, shivering, and crying, was Caer, the woman he realized at that moment, he loved.