La Bene Vita

Tuesday

Somehow, by some miracle, we filled both of next week's summer camps by the end of business yesterday. Also had a really good conversation with the superintendent of the local school district about supporting a scholarship initiative idea I have. That collaboration is in its infancy, but expect to hear more about that in the next six to twelve months.

Reach 300 students at MTMS   by 12/31/11.
We finally hit the 175 mark, and though I don't have faith yet that we've hit it permanently, I *think* we're past the 160's for good.

Reading: One book per week.
About halfway through Eldest.

Writing:
(1) Blog at MT.com   by the end of Wednesday: I wrote and scheduled tomorrow's post already.
(2) 30 minutes of daily freestyle writing: No.

Count points:
Morning weigh-in: ?
Yesterday's points: ?

I sort of have a headache today. I came in to work early because of my meeting with the superintendent, and I work all night on Tuesdays, so it's a 9am-9pm day for me. Meanwhile, money conversations with Keith and my mother, budget and planning conversations with my staff, and my own personal concerns about finances, have been frustrating me. I ask opinions because I really want to know, and I share personal and business financial situation (as applicable) because I want those opinions, but somehow it backfires every time. Opinions conflict. Others worry even more than I do. I get yelled at for buying a $150 piano (you bought another piano? Couldn't you have scheduled students around the pianos you have?) I get chastised for not using my staff efficiently enough, by assigning projects to teachers and lab attendants when their students don't show or they have a schedule break. Never mind the fact that it would take longer for me to come up with a project than they actually have to work on the project.

The problem is, I see everything, and my confidants only see what I tell them. Our budget is so complicated that I can't possibly share everything unless the person really wants to take the time. For example: I don't have a handle on our supplies budget, and I bought a new piano because we now have five teachers on Wednesdays and Saturdays but only four pianos. See how those two facts alone, out of context, could create angst? I don't know how much I can spend on paper towels but I'm buying whole pianos? Meanwhile, we have to make vacation decisions based around our summer budget and how much we're spending on gymnastics and braces for the children, but it's okay to just willy-nilly go and buy a piano? I get it. But neither I nor my confidants have the time or inclination to understand enough about my budget to realize that those are all independent things. We have soooooo much money floating around, coming in and going out, every month, and it's in a slew of different accounts. Figuring out adequate versus deficit is a full-time job.

Through this whole business start-up thing, I discovered something interesting about myself, something that I probably knew deep down, but always hid, even from myself. Something that will probably crucify me if and when any future employer researches me and discovers this old archived blog of mine in which I published the terrible truth:

I'm not a team player.

Frankly, I'm in a position to make all the financial decisions myself and avoid getting in trouble. If I would keep my damn mouth shut, it would never come up. But that feels deceitful to me, and it's not my style.

To the boy's credit, I did get an unsolicited apology about the reaction to the piano. After all, he spends more than that some weekends in beer, and as he pointed out, he doesn't even have anything to show for it afterward. I think he's just worried, even though I've told him the return on investment will really start to show next year. He's a natural worrier, and part of me wants to make a profit now just to ease his concern. But I can't. I look at the projections and know - with confidence - that we're slowly getting there. I just have to be patient, and so does he. And poor Mom is just trying to help - after all, I asked her to work on a budget with us. And Chris just wants a receptionist as soon as we can afford it - which, sadly, is probably not going to happen until at least September, probably more like November. Luckily, since we'll be here a lot, she and I still love our jobs.

But the good news is: we hit 175, we filled both of next week's camps, and we made friends in the local school district. Things are going well.