Follow the Fortune Cookie

The Birds and the Bees

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." ~ Judy Garland
Currently listening to: "Somebody Like You" - Adele
Currently reading: "Smoke and Mirrors" - Neil Gaiman

Three bees walk into a bar...except the bar is my kitchen. It was an intriguing conclusion to a day of running errands, all filled with the birds and the bees...probably start at the beginning.

There are a family of sparrows living on the light in the stair hallway separating the doorsteps of my apartment and my neighbors. The babies hatched recently, and the father bird has been given the duty to guard said nest. Since this is a high-traffic area, it is a strategically bad place to put their young. Doors open all the time. People coming up and down the stairs. To the sparrows credit, they dive-bomb everyone they feel is too close. Nearly gave a delivery man a heart attack when Papa Sparrow went for some beak/skull action. The stairway is full of little birds tweeting (not necessarily on Twitter) and bird excrement. Nice touch to the Christmas after-party paint it currently is now. Unfortunately, we can't move the birds because this particular breed is an endangered species. We're neighbors until one of us moves on in August. Somehow, I think the sparrows will win.

With all the bird frenzy, the bees were in stealth when they came into the apartment. I saw the first one on the sill of the window, above the kitchen sink. While trying to set a sting (pun not intended) to capture the first one, I inadvertently found the second one chilling on top of the hand soup dispenser. Being allergic to bees, I had a girly scream moment that I am definitely not proud of. While disposing to those two, a third semi-drunk was on the neighboring sill to the first. They went out quick, halfway dead when I found them. For a moment, while I was giving them an at-sea burial in the toilet, I wonder if they were experiencing a "Hangover" moment. Picture it: Three bees, out for a night of fun, wake up in an unknown kitchen with no recollection on how they got there...

Hey, it could happen. In fact, it could be good. And my life is filled with the birds and the bees. Weirdness abounds. Tuesday...what can you do?