My Musings, not always daily

Sunday morning musing

I haven't written for a few days. There was just nothing happening that was interesting and I didn't have any profound thoughts to share. (so what is new?)





This morning I sit here and happen to see a poem written as if from the distant shores of heaven to the loved ones that remain. My parents are older, and while not in the best of health, they live the life they have chosen.


What will I choose when working is no longer the option, either because of health or just age. Will I give up and sit? This thought has been one that flits through my mind from time to time as I see the life my parents have chosen. It has been said we follow the path that has been set before us. I don't agree. There are times when we see the choices made by family members and contemplate the consequences. I am determined not to make the same choices.





Years ago I began a path of fault finding, criticism and bad attitude. Thank goodness the Lord saw my heart and made me face that with a choice. Do you want to become like your mother or do you want to break the mould you are creating. I did not want to become the person my mother was/is in her attitude to life. I love her and her personality but I do not want to become what she is; grudge holding, self-obsessed with a martyr complex. I am told by my husband that I have a sharp biting tongue when I react to things he says. I don't want to be that way, nor do I do it intentionally. Maybe there is something to the addage "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." What makes a person continue on a path when all around them there are signs telling them that they need an attitude adjustment. We are products of our envirement and this generation demands justice for all, especially one's self.





Many people suffer from false accusations, fault finding, jealously and spite from others. Some people have more of it than others. I saw the way others in authority bellttled my parents, and time and time again things were done to them that were unfair in comparison to what others of equal status were given. Yes it was unfair, yes they were slighted. So were others I am sure, but my parents (especially my mother) didn't see or know about them.


Her life was one of repression. Her goal was to marry into a family that would accept her and love her as part of their family thus replacing what she missed as a child. That did not happen. In fact it was even worse. I see that the dissapointment in that instance and all the subsequent instances of rejection by others added until she just became bitter toward others who did not accept her attitude. Outside that is a wonderful, loving, outgoing, funny person. Put her into a small group of women she feels accepted by and they love her and she loves them. I am told all the time how much these women love my mother. I know that woman and I love being with her. It is the woman I visit at her home or she comes to mine or I call her and all I hear are complaints.She refuses to change, at 83 why should she? I guess is her attitude.





Lord, help me to see the way. The life that I live, may it be pleasing outside the home and inside as well. We all put up with the attitudes and personalities of our family and friends, but let me be in your will, devining the truth and seeing beyond the things that happen in the moment. Help me to forgive the bad attitude in others just as they should forgive mine.








NOTE: Should-does this word belong in our vocabulary? maybe next time.