A love to Remember

a love to remember (part 8)

Sasuke….


Day after day, time passes away and I just can’t get you off my mind. Nobody knows, because I hide it deep inside. I keep searching, but I just can’t find the courage to show… to let you know that I’ve never felt so much love before. And once again I’m thinking about taking the easy way out.


But how do you leave the one you love when you just can’t take how he’s going to break?


But if I let you go I will never know what my life would be, holding you close to me…


Night after night I hear myself say: why can’t this feeling just fade away? I’ve never had someone speak to my heart; it’s such a shame that we are worlds apart. You will never care about me when you keep obsessing about revenge. Power will always come first in your life. I’m not so sure that I’ll be happy playing second fiddle.


Sooner or later you’ll have to choose…


I’m so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. Your presence still lingers here and it won’t leave me alone…


It won’t help to sit around and wait, there’s just too much that time will not erase.


I love you.


When you cry I want to dry away all of your tears…when you scream I want to fight away all of your fears. You still have all of me.


Your face, it appears in my once unpleasant dreams….your voice chased away all of the sanity in me.


And still; a life without taking chances is no kind of life at all. I’ve got to stand up for something even if I might fall.


I might just take this road to wherever it may go.


I neatly folded the letter. Writing is my way of coping with things. Whenever something is bothering me, I put it down on paper. Maybe I’ll give this to him, maybe I won’t.


Tonight was absolutely….terrible.


Don’t get me wrong, the kiss was perfect, I loved every moment, I’m just angry at myself. He now has the upper hand; he can hurt me so much more.


If only tears were laughter, then I wouldn’t mind it.


How could I have let it happen? All this time there was no threat, and now things have changed. I’ll have to distance myself. It’s the only way of coping now.


I want to be with him, more than anything I want to be able to call him mine, but I…I can’t.


I will not make the same mistakes my mom did. I watched her die…I heard her cry every night in her sleep. I was so young, she should have known better than to lean on me. I never thought of anyone else, I just saw her pain…and now I cry in the middle of the night because of a similar thing. I will not cause myself such misery. I’ve learned the hard way to never let things get that far. I’ll rather play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt.


I’ll ignore him….and I definitely won’t be going to the dance tomorrow night.