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Journal, November 16, 2011

Since I got the acceptance letter from Bloomsburg University yesterday, that means I can slack off a little today, right? I decided to go shopping, although I didn’t buy anything. That’s a tradition I grew up with in my family. My sister and I would join our mother and grandmother on what we’d call “bumming,” which was basically window shopping. My family never had a lot of money, so we’d spend our days out just looking at items in stores. We wouldn’t buy much, but we enjoyed our time just looking and spending time together. Sometimes just looking at new things is almost as good as buying new things.

I often don’t understand everyone’s obsession with money. It seems like people think it’s the most important thing in life, when I just don’t see it that way. I mean, sure, I want to be comfortable. But I can live without things like cable television, but I also like my cell phone and internet connection. It seems like so many people are content to find the highest paying job they can find for themselves, no matter how unhappy they are at that job. I can’t really see myself doing that, at least not long term, and right now, I want a long term position. I’m tired of having to look for a new job constantly.

I want security and stability, even if it’s not the highest paying job. Of course, I feel some pressure to find a decent paying job, too.

My husband absolutely hates his job. He has a fine arts degree, and he’s currently working in a factory. Factory jobs are tough physically but insanely demanding mentally. It takes a certain type of person to be able to work in a factory setting long term. It’s basically like being in high school all over again. There are cliques that gang up on people for popularity or bragging rights or whatever it is. They can just make your daily life a living Hell.

Then there are supervisors who are basically the bullies. They try to see how far they can push people below them, and they make sure the people below them know their place in the job setting. They do everything they can to use their power over those below them. They take joy in pushing people around and taking advantage of them.

Last, you have the bosses, who are like the principals in a school. They don’t really know what’s going on at the lowest level and they’re really no help at all. They appear to be trying to keep things running smoothly, but if you try to discuss any concerns, they don’t really want to hear it. They tell you to talk to your supervisor, who obviously isn’t going to listen.

It’s a bad position for many personality types, and my husband is one of those types. It destroys his confidence and his peace of mind having to deal with that kind of place every single day. I feel terrible for him when he comes home from work and says, “I had a bad day.”

It’s up to me to save him from that place. The plan is (and has been for a long time) for me to get a “decent” job so he can quit working at the factory. Where he ends up is totally up to him. If he wants to stay at home and cook and clean, that works for me! As long as my job pays enough to keep us above water.

No pressure, right?