Follow the Fortune Cookie

Day Five:

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 
The Prompt: We’re all afraid of something. Write a formal complaint to whatever scares you the most.
The Music: "I'm On Fire" - Bruce Springsteen

Hey, Locked-in Syndrome.

Yeah, you, in the corner over there. No, not the "being flayed alive" nightmare. You're fine. Have some chips and dip or something. I'll talk with you sometime next week. Yes, Cerebromedullospinal Disconnection. Just because you like going by other names doesn't mean we don't have beef.

Let's lay everything out on the table here. You freak me out. You're the thing I fear most. I can picture in my head when hopping into a car with a person who probably wouldn't have a driver's license if her driving instructor hadn't had an ample view of her chestage. You're the thought that pops into my brain when I have to sign consent forms promising not to sue the hospital if they have to put under anesthesia. Hard to sue when you can't say a word, isn't it? Asshole...

You're probably thinking that things are okay because I don't end up dead. Theoretically, if you should have me in your clutches (not likely, friend!) I'm still awake and aware, able to move my eyeballs and such. I'm just unable to move anything else in my body. Can't speak. Can't move. Can't defend myself. Can't tell my brother that he's a doofus for wearing that shirt out in public. You take the control and leave me a prisoner in my own body. My own personal hell. Forever. Thanks for that.

The biggest problem you and I face is the fact that you like to hog all the controls. Who does that? Last time I checked this isn't a "Friends" episode and you are not Monica. At least she makes jam. You do nothing but cause infinite loops of fright within my psyche until I feel that incurable itch under my skin (Don't think I've forgotten about you flesh-burrowing scarabs You're next.) Why? Why are you even around? Piss off. I've got so many other things to stress about. You, you're nothing but a douche canoe.

Thanks for this chat. It let off a little bit of the pressure. I still despise you..

Cheers.

A tribute to "The Boss". Got love them tributes.