15 for 15 (June 2012)

June 15 – Dog

They make a freaking fantastic pair. The Incredible Hulk and mini-me dog. No wonder she’s sitting there glaring. I would too if I looked like that.

I don’t know. I almost admire it. That was a class A block. She did her friend a solid.

She needs to keep her place. Designated ugly friend doesn’t talk, she disappears in the face of interested men.

Let it go Randy. We all swing and miss. If her friend had been bowled over by you, she wouldn’t have laughed so hard when you ran.

It’s a barbecue. And a free country. I’m allowed to talk to whoever I like and stand wherever I like. That was assault. 

Yeah, well, she’s allowed to think you’re a jerk and keep you from talking her drunk friend into things she’d regret sober.

Whose side are you on? No one regrets me.

I meant maybe she’s got a boyfriend, or someone waiting at home.

Whatever. I came off strong, let the hot one tell me that. No need to sick that freaking wolf on me. Both of them.

You always come on strong. You don’t have another mode. Seriously man, let it go. I’m hungry, it’s hot and I need another beer. Plenty of other hot chicks in the park.

You go ahead. I’ll catch up.

Randy, you gearing up for something stupid? Don’t give me that grin. I’m telling you let it lie.

And I’m telling you to mind your business. This isn’t about you and me, it’s about me and the duff.

***

He’s coming back. What a jerkoff. I hate guys like that.

Juss jealous he likes me better.

Malia, shut up. You’re lit, or you wouldn’t have let him within ten feet of you.

Pretty eyes. Buuuuut he was shoooooort.

And ugly too. Go sit down, you’re looking a little green. Cagna, sit.

Tummy upset. Too much beer. Ugh, I feel grooossss.

You know what? Let’s call it a day. Cagna’s tired anyway. Chasing him off was too much excitement for one day.

***

Hiii!!! You came back!! Oh, wait, we don’t liiiikkkeee you.

That true? You got something to say to me?

No. Malia, grab my arm or you’ll fall down. We’re leaving now.

You had plenty to say before. What, now you’re quiet?

Look. I don’t know you from Adam, and I don’t want to. Why don’t you go find some other drunk woman to take advantage of and leave us alone?

You calling me a rapist. You f–  AAAAAAHHH

Cagna, down. Down. Come here. Sit. Good girl, good girl.

Hahahhaahhaahaha. Attack doggie. Hahahahaha.

Malia shut up! You’re not helping.

Your damn dog bit me. I’m breaking bleeding. What is wrong with you people?

Says the idiot who puts his hands on strangers after being chased away once. If Cagna goes after you again, I’m not stopping her. Get out of our way.