Shellyville Continues

Lost and found

Hello Sunshine,

Have you ever felt lost in your own life? Ever been sitting at a table with family and just check out?

I went out to dinner last night with my sisters but found myself drifting off into my own world. My sister asked me if I was okay. I was. I am just not sure that I have a connection anymore with my own family.

I feel like an outsider. They all talk about what is going on and who is doing what and I find I have no interest or knowledge to share. I just don't have the connection. I don't have the same thoughts or concerns. I don't feel the same way anymore and it caught me off guard. I am content but also sad. Sad that I lost that feeling of being a part of a big group.

I know I would have to make the change to get back into it. I would have to be the one that would invite the conversation and I would be the one that would have to do all the work to be included. I realize I don't have the energy or desire to do that. I am okay with being on the outside. I am okay with feeling lost. I found myself in the process. I found out who I am.

I will always be a part of my family but I am so much more. I am not better, only different. I love who I am and who I have become. I am still a work in progress and I might change my mind someday and run back into the fire of my family dynamics. All I know now is that I am fine. I am loved and life goes on.

Love,
Michelle