Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the housework.

THE PROMPT: "Housework is overrated. Yes or no?"

What's up everyone? This prompt? Simple. It depends. There's two trains of thought for the male brain on this one...and since that's the only train I can ride without a ticket, allow me to pass my feelings about this on to you.

THE SINGLE MALE TRAIN:

Dude, you're by yourself. You have one person to clean up after. You either make a dirty dish and clean it, or wait for the sink to fill, stink, and clean about half of them before you give up, let them resoak, and try again when it fills up. Unless you need something to cook with...then, good luck. You live out of a laundry basket...putting your clothes away means having to search longer for something you really want to wear. The bathroom gets clean one of two ways: it noticably needs it, or you're expecting the presence of a lady, and let's just say that by "noticiably needs", well, basically you just let it go for far too long because you haven't gotten the presence of a lady in quite awhile. And vaccuuming? Please! You're a guy! The soles of your shoes are immune to the shit you step in! You just sprinkle that scented powder down a few times a year and run over it for awhile, and you're all set. Besides, it saves wear and tear on the carpets, which are harder to replace than vaccuuming is. Unless you've got pets...then you keep them off anything and everything, because pets are known for walking where they poop...and they're not men. You control your schedule, and you know when someone's coming by, and if you warn them correctly, you'll have time to make your place look respectable, yet lived in.

THE UNSINGLE MALE TRAIN:

You love your woman, so you're expected to split some of the load. And if she has kids, expect a bigger load. Sure, maybe you can con convince kids into doing some work, but good luck enforcing any agreed-upon terms unless it's in writing and/or there's incentives involved. Don't fall behind, for fear of the wrath of a woman scorned when there's a spot in the bathroom anywhere. Put your clothes away in a prompt fashion...that clean laundry basket behind a closed bedroom door is still a toxin if company's coming over. If the shoes aren't off 20 seconds after crossing the threshold of the door you entered from the outside, an alarm instantly goes off on the vaccuum cleaner. And at the first whiff of any smell coming from anywhere, either the garbage needs to be taken out, or the fridge needs to be cleaned. And if you didn't notice any of this a week before it actually occurs, expect no happy sexy time for at least three weeks, give or take the plumbing schedule of the female. Because, you know, company could show up at any time, and it might be Better Homes And Gardens.

That, my friends, is a legit guide to housework. It should be given out by landlords and real estate agents upon any man entering into a rent/lease/home buying agreement. You've got my stamp of approval on that.

I've been on both trains. Either one generally gets you to the same place...eventually, you arrive, only to leave and come back to it again. On the first train, the track's a little longer and allows you to enjoy some of the scenery along the way. The other train is full of noisy passengers taking up a lot of room, trying to avoid the same inevitable destination, with a conductor flying the train down the tracks because they want you there yesterday. Both trains have pros and cons, so long as you're a good passenger and skip that $5 mini-bottle of wine. And any way you look at it, it's generally a long trip either way...all that matters is how you want the end result to be.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

There's always a song for this subject, isn't there? No, there isn't. But dammit, there's one on my world-famous iPod.

VITAL STATS:

The big debate at work today? What song had the lyrics "forever, fo-eva eva?" in it. I was making change for a cashier at the register and we both managed to say it at the same time...after I called her and asked her what she needed. She answered, didn't say hi or anything, just, "Can I get a...some singles and some quarters?" So I went with, "Can I get a what-what?" Yup, Music Nerdology 101 on display. It figures...the last hour of the day was the slowest after the morning flew by, and the only thing that could kick my bruises was trying to figure out where we came up with, "forever, fo-eva eva?" True damn story. Turns out there were two right answers. I nailed mine, and missed the guess someone else had on the other one, who was close.

Damn you, WDC, for only allowing two video embeds per post. That would've been fun to post.

And I'm done for today. On to other stuff, I figure. Then I get to cuddle with my favoritest 4-foot sock monkey before I visit Retail Hell again in the morning time. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!