Every Couple of Sunflowers I Pass

Tutoring a 13-year old

Blogging Again. . .

I suppose that blogging is evolving as a writing form. And I imagine the way everyone attacks their own blog is a little bit different, depending on their purposes. In trying to find paying writing jobs, I fell into writing blogs for my employer's purpose, usually sales. It didn't pay that well, and I didn't feel right not giving my best effort because I didn't feel passionate about the product. This blog is intended to vent attitudes, and not particularly to sell anything, although if you'd like to buy my book Bipolar Daydreams: Poems and Essays it will be available for sale through Amazon and other vendors before 2012 ends. I still hope to finish my manuscript and submit it before summer's end. Revision and editing is taking MUCH more time than I'd projected.

The book is supposed to be my priority, but I keep taking multi-day breaks from working on it. I've been working with these essays and poems a lot for the past ten months. My ADHD kicks in and I can't remember if I'm re-reading something I wrote in another section or not.

The essays have to be put in some sort of sensible order. Time order didn't work, so I'm trying to start slow and conservative, and add the more exciting stories for the middle and end. Then I need to decide which poems go in-between which poems. Format the info onto word, send the e-mail, and 45 days later it's a book.

My topic is bipolar disorder, and my essays have info and opinion. I script my moods through my poetry--depression and mania too. I want to hit all the high points about bipolar facts, get rid of some bipolar myths, and see if I can find a reading audience that would like to experience a skewed perspective on life. My life isn't really skewed, I'm just a person with a bipolar diagnosis.

I can't go into many details, because that's what I've been doing. I've kind of burned out on my subject. I live it, so I can never get away from it. But every so often I have to have a total brain break from thinking about my bipolar, or I'll start slipping into symptoms--or I feel like I will. At any rate, the book is not getting finished very fast.

The essays in the "Bipolar Essays" folder have the chunk of what I'm trying to work on now. I have the essays printed out, because I know I read better from paper, plus I can put in my editing notes. I've gone through the reviews I received for these essays over time, so that way I have an idea on what kind of revision to do.

What I set down my editing the last time, I had a big pink three ring notebook which contains all the essays. First thing, I killed my chapter 2 and chapter 3. I don't think it was a mistake, but I need to be clear-headed and full of coffee or vitamin B-12 when I start revising again. Spending time editing drains the absolute emotional life out of me.

Once I get started, I may work on the manuscript for four or five hours--without a break. That's not wise, but it's kind of like I jump into my writing pool, and while I'm there I write for all I can.

I like to have a clear day's agenda when I settle in to work on the book. Other things and people have been distracting me. More to expound on . . . should I really have volunteered to tutor a 13 year old kid in need? Anything we do with books will help, but he's SO behind in his grade level work, special ed, bipolar, schizophrenic, and his Mother cusses to him like she is a sailor. Sometimes my best efforts turn out to be exactly the opposite. With paying clients I get $20 per hour. This kid doesn't understand much about the world. Maybe we can help each other.