Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

Colorado on my mind

As I'm sure like much of the nation and world, Colorado weighs heavy on my mind. A tragedy such as this exposes us to the evil and the pure goodness in human nature. But with both comes a multitude of questions and few concrete answers.

My son and I talked about this at great legnth on an hour car ride to my parents'. We differ on some thoughts, while agreeing on others. He is convinced that the shooter must be mentally ill, because otherwise how could the thought of gunning down that many people even come into mind much less be carried out. i don't see him as mentally ill. So much thought, planning, and attention to detail went into it - I find it too calculated to not be completely having control of your actions. I think he is someone who doesn't feel he needs to play by society's rules. Or he's simply tired of working for nothing and is seeking noteriety. Truthfully, I don't know which of us is correct - maybe neither.

I do find it miraculous that more people didn't lose their lives. Though even the senseless death of one person is too much, considering the amount of ammunition, the mulititude of people in such a confined space, and the element of surprise it is a amazing the death toll was not higher.

I listen to the account of the survivors, and ache for what they will carry with them all their lives. Seeing the pictures of those lost and the devasting expressions on their family and friends' faces is almost too much to comprehend. How do you take that next step in life? Especially, with a nation looking on. Does it make it easier or more difficult that a world is watching? Does the support outweigh the need for privacy during this time?

We want there to be answers to why this happened. We want to know that there was something that caused him to do this. Somehow we innately think understanding will bring comfort and security. But can we really know what exists or what causes such an effect?

President Obama mentioned he would hug his daughters a little tighter, as I'm sure many of us always took the time to contemplate how much those in our lives mean to us. It saddens me in a way that it takes such a tragedy for us to do this -- When will breaking news of a wonderful miracle, make us do the same?

Colorado and the world in my thoughts and prayers,
Audra