Time To Get Real

Nothing irritates me more...

...than hypocrisy and prejudice. Unfortunately, these things seem to go hand in hand today.

It seems to me that the most prejudiced people are usually the most dishonest. Like so-called church-going "saved" folk who go to the club on Saturday Night/have pre-marital sex/etc. and then look down their noses on everyone who doesn't go to church. As if these so-called Christians are any better than the "un-saved"!

In the brief time I was involved with the black lesbian community in my nearest city, I observed a few things that really stood out to me:

1. Most of them had children, at least two or three.
2. They seemed to be disgusted by bisexual women, even though the vast majority of them had slept with men.
3. Very few of them were out to family members.
4. Mediocre activism in their community

I don't understand the hatred of bisexual women. So they like both. So what? Would lesbians appreciate it if their sexual preferences were called into question because of their children and/or marriages? Annoyingly of all, some lesbians actually call bisexual women confused! Really? Aren't these the same arguments made against homosexuals? Do they not get the irony of making such ignorant statements?

Secondly, why claim to be a lesbian at all if you are over the age of thirty and you're not out to your parents/children, and yet you see them regularly? Honestly, that's probably my worst pet peeve in the lesbian community. There are young people dying because the older generation of lesbians is invisible. And they're invisible because they want to "have their cake and eat it too" by relying on their assumed "straight" status to remain acceptable in mainstream society. I think this is the most hypocritical move of all. I put myself at tremendous personal risk both on the job and in my family by coming out, because I wanted to be honest. I didn't want to be ashamed of who I was after I had worked for so long to define myself. Thank goodness my journey to freedom didn't result in suicide because I didn't have any proud black lesbians to look up to. For many women and teenage girls in my place, it has.

The last, and most crucial aspect is the mediocre activism. The only time I can remember the black lesbian community coming together to do anything is for the parties at PRIDE, and surprisingly enough when a non-discrimination bill was up for public forum about a month ago. Obviously you can't stop people from discriminating against you if you're in and out of the closet anytime it suits you, and if you reject help from your allies, the bisexuals and the transgendered who put the BT in LGBT. The ironic thing is that these same lesbians meet regularly to discuss books and play sports, but yet they don't put the same amount of effort into working for their own rights, or being open enough with their so-called loved ones.

Thankfully, the BS you see listed above only applies to the shrinking number of older black lesbians that I've come across in a small southern city. I intend to meet a lot more lesbians as I get older, and I'm sure they all don't have the same outdated attitudes. I just don't understand the kind of behavior I've witnessed, nor do I endorse it.