Shellyville Continues

I said Goodbye

Hello Sunshine,

I finally had a chance to say a few words to Pastor Steve. I was able to tell him I was going to miss him and that I wished him well on his new journey. I love it when he sits down in front of me at church and we have a little chat. I know that our hearts connect and that I feel Gods love and acceptance.

He told me to listen very carefully during his sermon because it was about divorce and he really wanted me to get the message. God might hate divorce and call it a sin but he would never hate me. He wouldn't want me to be hurt. I know I knew that but it sure is nice to have it confirmed out loud.

I don't feel like a sinner. I don't feel like I have committed a crime. I am sure I have. I am sure I am not one of God's good kids. Still like a good parent he loves me anyway. He knows. Which could explain my dream about my dad last night. I am always so amazed when I see him in my dreams. So alive and acting just like I remember him stern, scary, and loving.

My dad had an awesome affect on me. I could be so scared of him but also so happy to be around him. He really was like every emotion under the sun. He had no fear of his emotions and expressed them without regret or concern for others. He was blunt, direct and often rude. Damn that is what I loved the most about him.

He was honest to a fault and so believed in God. He truly gave me his faith. It was one of his many gifts to me.

I am loved!

Love,
Michelle