Shellyville Continues

Empty thoughts?

Hello Sunshine,

I have to wonder about the pattern of things sometimes. How people can say things to me and I am suppose to absorb the meaning and make sense of it.

Sometimes I am very sharp and I get it. Other times I struggle with my own definition of what it means. One of the things I have learned as a therapist that it is not my job to do anything but my job to be there and listen.

Having good listening skills is a talent I never expected to have. Half the time when I was growing up I blocked out the voices around me. I was always day dreaming and not paying attention to authority. In many ways I am still like that. I am very much inside my own head.

I think that is why I love being a therapist. I finally get to get outside of myself. I can take on so much more if I am not self absorbed. I love being with my clients. I love the whole exchange and I know someday my practice will be full. I will have the income to live comfortable and not worry like I am right now.

Maybe someday I will move and give my kids what they want. Jackson wants more space and a yard and Savanna wants her own bedroom. I want a laundry room and a patio. I don't need anything more then what I have right now. I am very happy were I am at. I guess it never hurts to think ahead and dream big. Sometimes it hurts that I am not giving the kids everything that Brian does. He has the house and the income. He has the stable career and his own hobbies.

It sucks that my kids have to divide their life up. I think we are adjusting the best we can and I do my best to make sense of it. I find it funny that the one thing that bothers Jackson the most is my job. Maybe when he goes back to school it won't be such a big issue any more.

When school starts we will have far more issues to worry about then my job! Yikes. I am not ready!!

Love,
Michelle