Shellyville Continues

Up early!

Hello Sunshine,

I am not sure what time the sun rises but I am pretty sure we beat it! Wow high school does start early! That or my teenager needs lots of time in the morning to get ready.

I realize now why I should have found a 3 bedroom house to rent. My kids need their privacy and space. I need it too. I love having them so close to me and when we all snuggle in for the night that is my favorite time...Still, I know they kind of hate it. Oh well!

I was thinking back to my childhood when all 4 of my sisters shared a bedroom. I remember carving out my small space. My parents stayed married but they sure were not happy all the time. I was just thinking that only two of my sisters have remained married and the rest of us are all divorced. 5 girls. Maybe I never had a real chance at staying married. I feel conflicted about it. I feel like I gave up but then I take a hard look back and realize that I tried for 5 years. I just never could get it back.

Once trust is lost and love is missing you can't keep chasing. You can't keep pretending everything is fine when it's not. I can honestly say I didn't know what divorce was going to look like. I just knew that the way I was living wasn't good. I am calling this time in my life just temporary insanity.

Because I know I can't stay in this limbo place. I have to move on to reality. I have to plan ahead and think of my future. All my life I have believed in the fairy tales. I have believed in the happy ending. Now I know that I am the happy ending. Not some man that is going to come rescue me from my own insanity. I have to make my life the one I want. I do!

Every day I wake up and I know were I am at. Every day I wake up and thank God for my many blessings. I have a great life. I am smart and funny and even if my kids are under my rule and thumb they are healthy. They will survive. They will be better because they know that life is not some fairytale cartoon.

Life is what you make it!

Love,
Michelle