Poems

Embattled Influences

(Struggling to Over come Childhood and Adolescent abuses as an adult


Adolescent years
Adolescent tears
The world can be a cruel place
It's not fair!

Childhood fears
grow throughout the years
The world is a cruel place
It's not fair

Adult determination
Adult justification
The world has been and will be a cruel place
What really is fair?

         Fear
         Denial
         Anger
         Grief
A lost soul reaches out
Finds no relief

Remembered jeers, adolescent fears
Remembered tears, childhood pain
Relive rationalization, adult failure
Realize a lonely path, destination unknown.

Open hearted
Torn and bleeding
Abandonment's emptiness
Inner rage seething

Feelings are back again
Gone is the sleepiness
The lethargic inactiveness
Here are the tears of guilts remunerations
         Taunting
         Haunting
         Stabbing
         Jabbing
Holding myself accountable for deeds not long past
I hide in isolation but not running away
I stand entrenched, both feet firmly planted
Making myself responsible for my life today.

*remunerations: the act of compensating for; making payment for... in this case the act of trying to heal from past abuses is making payment or giving compensation to myself for wrongs done to me. Notice the abused is the one ruminating not the abusers.

July 1990

© Copyright 2001 DyrHearte (UN: dyrhearte at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
DyrHearte has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

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Created: 11:37pm on 11-13-2001
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