Snow Melt

All I want to do is write

All I want to do is write. I look at the house and feel I should be doing housework, but all I want to do is write. I began writing the protagonist profile for my NaNoWriMo novel today. I wrote several paragraphs and I included some background, but for some reason I don't think the profile or my idea is any good. I know I shouldn't judge the idea right now. I thought the idea was good when I came up with it a day or so before October 1. I don't know what my problem is; maybe I'm just worried about what I have to do.

I can't seem to accomplish everything I want to accomplish. I want to clean the house and I want to write. I want to pay bills I haven't even checked the bank accounts today. I used to check the bank accounts everyday, but not any more. Maybe I need to spend a day just cleaning house. I have to go to the bank and to the grocery store tomorrow. Perhaps I need a schedule.

All I want to do write. Sometimes, I get the feeling that when I do write, I'm putting off something else that I need to be doing. I'm disorganized. I think right now I will close this and go give Mom her last pill of the day. I need to focus and I can't seem to focus. For the past few days the only thing I could think about was that I can't do anything right. I have gotten the idea that no matter what I do, I'll screw it up and I can't get that out of my head. It helps writing these thoughts, at least I get them out of my head.

I know that it is impossible the screw everything up. I think I have to get back into a writing and housework routine. Once I do that then I'll be all right. I did manage to purchase another one-month premium membership. Now my membership is due on November 30. Not to change the subject, which I'm going to now, but I think I need to be more organized. My desk is a mess and I can't find anything. I also need to get a new printer for my new computer. A new printer would help because then I could at least print off a hard copy of whatever I'm working on at the time.

All I want to do is write and my basket is so full. Sometimes I feel as if I'm the only... perhaps the word I want to put her is alone. Sometimes I feel so alone. I feel overwhelmed. I feel as if I'm drowning in a rising sea. There is probably more I want to write, but I'm going to post this and give Mom her pill and then get back to writing something else.