Come Home

Dream (ch 7)

Chapter Seven


Dream


         We hear the front door rattle. I still had not gone to sleep. It is getting to be day light. The birds are singing. "I was so worried." Mom said excitedly. I got to the bedroom door. I see her wrap her arms around Dad's neck. "Less is so hot. He was calling for you while he slept."


         Dad walks over and touches Less's face. "He feels cool to me." He says as he asked what the doctor had to say.


         Mom walks over to see if Less was still hot with fever. Of course, he wasn't like every morning it had broken. She told Dad what the doctor had said as she gave Less his new medicine. Then she goes into the experience of walking back into the house. They walk over to, what is known now as, Sara's window. Mom had covered it with a quilt last night after we had gone to our room. There were the words for Dad to read, "Come Home." She walks him around for him to see the now glass photos hanging on the wall.


         Dad puts his arms around her. "Mother, it is just some kids trying to have fun." I am not sure that he even believed his words as they came from his lips. "I will go tomorrow after work, and buy a different pad lock." He thinks a minute. "It makes since that someone had let the boat go yesterday. They knew that I would have to be late getting home for a few days."


         He told Mom that our landlord promised a different boat tomorrow. He would not have to be late again. This boat was not wood. It was made of light weight aluminum. He would be able to drag it up the bank into the field for hiding.  It was nice to hear that Dad would not be late. It made me feel a little safer.


         Mom fixes us oatmeal for breakfast. They sent us to play again in our bedroom so that she and dad could sleep. This time it was different. Less laid with me in my bed. My sisters went to their beds. We all were too tired to do much playing today.


         Less slept coolly in my arms. The bed did not rock during this nap. It was nice to really get to close my eyes and actually get some sleep. During the day time I always felt safe. I think that after what I had heard about the other brothers that did not make it past birth, holding little Less helped sleep come deeper.


         What could Sara want with Less? Why did she torture him with the heat every single night? She must know that he can not be Ada. He is male. Was it Sara that got angry when we left the house? Did she want to punish us for leaving and taking "her baby"? These are the questions that rolled around in my mind as I joined the rest of my family in the symphony of snores.


         In my dream, I watched Sara in this house. She was happy and all her children were alive. I watched the twins running around the chair where she rocked baby Ada. She was smiling down at the child. I look closer. It was almost like I was invisible in the dream. I get closer. The face of Ada was the face of my brother Less. I look around at the many children. They all looked similar to Less. They looked so much like him that he could have been her baby.


         My parents, sisters, and I all had dark straight hair. Less had wavy blond hair. We all we tan in comparison to Less (who would burn in five minutes in the sun). Sara and her children all had pale complexions and blond hair. Then the image of Sara, the children, and the house was getting smaller. It felt like I was being pulled from her time back into my own.


         I wake up. What had Sara said before I had to leave here? Was it important? Was it a message that would make everything normal (whatever that was). It sounded much like "beware your mad". Am I mad? Has all this not been true. I look at my sleeping brother. The dream still not shaken from my mind.


He wakes up smiling as he always  do. Beautiful blue eyes shinning as bright as his smile. "Let's play." He said. The sun has set, but mom has not lit the lamp yet. "We have to play on the bed." So we play peek-a-boo and hide under the blankets until mom came to give us light. I touched his hand. It felt warm.


         "Mom, Less feels warm." I said hoping it would not be along night.





         She takes his premature. She squints to see the red line showing 98.9. She smiles as big as he does. This is something that she has not done for a long time.          "He is normal. He must have felt warm from where he just woke up."


         Mom gives us a snack, but we all still wanted to sleep. Mom took Less. They crawled back in the bed with Dad. The window is still covered. The girls and I all slept in my bed. It was getting chilly so this was a good way to keep warm as well as safe. I looked to see if I could Sara. She did not show up this night not in the house that is.


         Because of the nap, I found it hard to go to sleep. My eyes closed. "Wake up." The house was filled with smoke. The door to my parents room was blocked by flames. I am no longer aware of where the windows are or my sisters. "Rose! Sis!" I listen for a cough. I don't hear anything. I hear what I believe to be Less crying. I can not get to him, and I can not get out.


                   Sara was by my side. "Where is my daughter?" I look at her. She doesn't seem to know that I am there. "Ada" "Ada" She begins to fall as she scanned the room for the baby. She crawls through the flames in the door. I can see her looking for the window that she visits. She falls.


         I can not breath. I don't know what is happening with the spirit world. My family is what  counts right now. "Mom! Mom!" I scream over and over again.


         "Matilda! Matilda!" mom answers. She must be close. I feel her touching my arm. "Matilda! Wake up! You are having a nightmare."


         I open my eyes. The morning sun is shinning through the windows that I could not find in my dreams. I look to see that my sisters were looking at me worried about all the kicking that I had been doing in the bed. "I dreamed about a fire." That is all that I told them. We all go to eggs and gravy. Then we went out to play. Less was able to go out on his leash because he had not been burning up last night.


         We found a batch of black berries. We ate a handful. Placed a few in a plastic grocery bag that I used as a flag to imaginary Fairyland. Then eat another. By the time that the bag had been filled, each of us had dark stained lips and hands. Mom had told us to allow her to check and wash the berries before we ate any. We knew the rules. She had told us time after time. She did not want us to eat insects such as spiders, but we always ate them right off their bush. There would be no hiding what we had done today. We were caught blue handed, if you must.


         I look at Less. His eyes are closed tight. His face is all strained. And he stands motionless with his butt pushed out. "Less, " I did not catch him in time. "Now we have to go in side." Less wore cloth diapers. I had to get him home and changed before we could do any more playing. Less walks with his legs far apart. His steps were stiff. We were working on potty training him, but I did not catch him in time to help unpin him.


         When we got home, I sat the berries on the counter in the kitchen. I took Less to the bath room. Unpinned his diaper, emptied it contents into the toilet, and placed the soiled cloth diaper in a bucket of water to soak. I would have to wash it when there was four or five in the bucket. There are only two right now. I clean Less and replace his cover. I grab the flushing bucket and used it to keep the commode clean. Then I try to wash the berry stains from both my self and little brother. This effort did not work. We go join our family. The lights are dim now, and no one seemed to notice our blue faces.My words are ways to leave peices of myself behind for my children.

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