Come Home

Keeping the Promise (ch 12)

Chapter Twelve


Keeping The Promise


         We are all dressed in our best. We all walked hand in hand to the top  of the hill where family and friends waited to say good bye to a wonderful woman. They had not closed the casket yet. I could see her breathing. My mind wanted her to be. I waited. With all that has gone on in my life, it was not so insane to believe that she was going to wake up. That she was going to walk to the car and ride home with us.


         Needless to say this did not happen. The casket was closed, and we were ushered off the hill. I turned to look back. I see the men putting shovel after shovel of dirt on her. I began to cry. I have lost my “Mammal”. I pull away from my sisters. I leg behind walking in the cold drizzle alone. My face warmed only by my tears.


         We didn't go to my grandmother's house. Mom just wanted to be alone with us. She cried most of the night. Dad was so sweet to her as he used to be so many years before. He tucked us into bed, said our prayers with us, and even told Less a story. That was usually my job, but I was glad that Dad was trying. I was able to see his love for his family for the first time since before Less was born.


         The next two weeks were filled with grief. Mom didn't even eat or get out of bed. One day Dad had to go to work. Less missed his mother. He climbed into her bed. “Mom, can you draw with me?”


         “Matilda, your brother needs you to draw with him.”


         Less looks at her, “That is all right. I wanted you to draw with me.” He is almost in tears. “ I drew you this picture of Mammal in Heaven.”


         I was right by her bed getting ready to take Less out of the room. She pulls him next to her as she sits up. “ That is beautiful.” She kisses him. This was the first time that Mom thought about where Mammal had truly gone. Less reaches her part of his paper and a pencil. She begins to draw with him.


         “Mom, will I see Mammal in Heaven?” Less asks. I start to hush him.


         “Yes, Love.” She wipes her tears. “It wont be for a long long time.” I think that is when she realized that she was needed as much as she needed her mother.


         By the time Dad came home, Mom had supper made. She cleaned the house. She and Less had even tacked ten or fifteen pictures that we drew with her all over  our bedroom. I think that I may have even seen her smile a couple times.


         Mom was back. I don't know how Less brought her back. I am so glad that she was here now. There was something different though. She seemed stronger. She acted bolder when it came to putting her foot down with her beliefs. It was not just obey Dad, cook for us, or yes to all our demands. She was her own person. She did not seem as moody as she used to. Mom was her own woman.


         One day Mom told Dad to take Less to meet Aunt Carol at the school bus stop. “She is going to keep him and Sis for a week.”


         “Doesn't Sis have to go to school?” He asked. Mom told him that Carol had promised to take her to school.


         “Carol needs the kids to help keep her mind busy.”


         Dad asks me to go with them. I help Less in my lap until the boat stopped. Aunt Carol gave me a sheet of paper to give Mom as Dad was putting the kids in the car. “Don't loose this. It is for your mom only.” She handed me a piece of caramel. She kisses me. I leave a little sad to be separating from my siblings for the first time.


         I had to wait until Dad went to work the next day before I could give it to Mom. I watched as she opened the note. She smiles. “Thank you for bringing this to me. Did your dad see it?”


         “ I don't thinks so.” I answered. I did not read the letter, but I was worried about why it was such a secret. “Mom, is everything all right?”


         “Yes, Dear.” She says. She reaches me a roll of trash bags. “Go put all your clothes in these. You can put a few of your closest toys. Don't forget to do it for each of you. Then put the bags under the siding of the bedroom wall.” She noticed that I was puzzled by the request. “We have to clean this house. It is time to get things done while the little ones are gone.”


         I thought that there was more to the story than Mom told me. I didn't question further. I just did as I was told. Rose didn't bother to put clothes in her bag. She was filling it with toys. I guess she thought close was not important to her.


         I packed up Less' clothes. He didn't have very many toys. A few cars was what he played with when he wasn't forced into being a baby of one of us girls. With clothes and toys, Bub only had half a bag. We packed all his and Sis' stuff because they were not home to use them. Rose and I were to leave two sets of clothes. Two pairs of socks, two underwear, two paints with shirt, and one pair of shoes were all we were allowed to keep out to wear. Then we dragged the bags to the outside. We pushed them under the side of the house.


         The night Mom tells Rose to get off the school bus at cousin Karen's house. I was surprised. We had never spent the night a way from her. That night while we slept, mom put a change of clothes into Rose's back pack.


         The next morning Dad went to work. Mom was dressed up. “Where are we going?” I ask her.


         “I have a promise to keep.” She answers. She hands me a note. “Go call this number. Tell them to bring the four wheelers down to get us.”


         I knew that there were no reason to ask any more questions. I guess that it was going to be an adventure. I knew that this was something that Dad did not know about because we didn't wait for him to take us across the river as we did the few times that we did leave the house.


         Chris and three of his brothers arrived on the four wheelers. One was pulling some kind of wagon. It was about three foot long, two foot tall, and rigged to be pulled by t he vehicle. Christ and Jammy walked right where the bags were hidden. I thought, “Mom must have planned this since she came back from her depression.” Bag after bag was placed into the wagon.


         “Aunt Jude,” Cousin Jammy called out. “You can ride with me.”


         Mom had never ridden a bike in her life. To her this contraption was like looking some kind of monster in the eye. “It's all right. We will walk to the top of the hill and ride in the truck.


         “You know that you are too ill to walk that far.” He pleaded. “I will be careful as we go.” He reaches Mom a pink helmet. She put it on. She knew that he was right. I climbed on with Chris. I was more than ready for the ride. It was a new experience.


         As we drive off, I see that Mom has left a small folded paper in the crack of the door. Did she really tell him where we were going to be? What would he do?


         I also see the figure of Sara watching us through her window. I know that she was not going to be happy.


         The ride was bumpy, but I enjoyed every bounce of it. Jammy was pulling the wagon. With Mom riding with him, he had to take his trip slower.


         At the neighbor's Mom and I got into the truck. The four wheelers pulled into the tailor they were brought in. Their drivers piled into another car. We now left the house and all the madness behind.





My words are ways to leave peices of myself behind for my children.

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