What a wonderful world!

My Biggest Regret

Falling in love is my biggest regret. I am a one man woman, and always wanted just one man in my heart. Unfortunately, that will never happen now.

I always wanted someone who'd come to me all by himself, I never proposed to anyone till now. This certain Mr. N, came and proposed to me. He was a classmate, we studied together at university.

I did not want to respond positively at first, knowing that a completely physically fit person might not accept me, as I'm challenged since birth.

Somehow, I was encouraged to say yes, as my heart wanted to say yes to the first person who came to me.

Within a very short time, I realized that he just wanted my body, not me as a person. I would never give myself to anyone before marriage, so I strongly said no. Also, I told him to come to my family and ask for my hand if he really wanted me.

Since then, we were having ups and downs in our relationship. We'd break up, and then get back together again. I just kept on giving him chances.

He wanted to lure me into a physical relationship, but I'd never do something against my values. I'd have to die someday, and face Allah.

This November, he called again, and asked me to marry him. I'd have to convince my parents and family within the first week of December to get us married. He wanted me to stay in my family even after marriage, and he'd take me to his family 4 years later, after completing university.

If his family did accept me, all right. Otherwise, he'd just seperate from his family.

When I asked for a social proposal, through parents, and a proper engagement, he went: "You have absolutely nothing but a walking stick. My society would never accept you."

My thing is, why on earth did you come to me? I didn't call you!

I've always dreamt of a family filled with warmth, in-laws and relationships. In my family, I'm always pampered, loved in every way. I wanted the same thing to be repeated after marriage.

I, therefore, had to say a strong "No", and disconnect with him completely. If only I could go back to my early teens, I could have accepted one of the friends who had a crush on me. Then, probably, my view of men would change.

Men are very good as friends, men can be sweet as brothers, but love? All men are, sorry to say, nothing but animals who can hardly look beyond a female body.

I'd never fall in love again, NEVER EVER. Even if that means staying single for my whole life!