Mercy! Mercy! That Dang Nabed PERCY!

"Blest be the ties..."

"Blest be the Ties..."

Steig Larssen, (Spelled something like that) wrote the Girl in the Dragon Tattoo. I thought the series was spell binding. He died at the age of 50 and his estate went to his father and brother. He never married the woman he lived with for thirty years and she got nothing. According to Swedish Law, common law marriage is not recognized and if there isn’t a will, assets go to blood relatives.

Now it doesn’t seem fair to me that a woman who lives with a man for thirty years should be excluded from her significant other’s property, earned during the years they lived together but that is the Northern European (NE) take. Don’t get me wrong, I like NEs, indeed I have a few in my family tree, but that culture is inclined at times to treat women like crap. While serving in Germany it often seemed to me that a NE male treated his car better than his wife.

For those of you who are not aware, the original title of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” was “Men who hate Women.” Now I’ll grant you that women can be a pain in the ass and the term “Bitch” is sometimes appropriate, but I find it hard to believe that anyone could ignore the important role they play and not love them for their many endearing qualities. My wife Linda is the most important thing in my life even though at times she seems like a dark vortex.

I try and stay upbeat. “There is nothing like a dame….nothing in this world. There is nothing you can name, that is anything like a dame!” (Is that corny or what? )At its worst I’d prefer my wife’s maelstroms to the existence I suffered before we met.

There was a joke that circulated around many years ago. It was a Catrina and Yogi Jorgenson joke… Somebody was interviewing Catrina and said, “ My goodness Catrina, you could play for the Green Bay Packers…”

To which Catrina replied… “I don’t play with nobody’s packer but Yogi’s.

I have a dark side but Linda’s is very different. It is a moody oppressive depression that feeds off itself and all I can do is hang on for the ride and expect some rough turbulence.

In college a friend told me that if you want to know what your wife will become… look at her mother. Now that was a sobering thought that I found hard to believe but after almost fifty years I see evidence of truth in it.

The flip side is that Linda sees some of my father’s less laudable traits in me. Thus we both see a propensity that could manifest itself if we “Go with the Flow.” The default is that we will become the dark side of our parents unless we intervene and force a different outcome. We have conversations about our “dark sides” and remind each other of the bonds that have held us together these many years.

Remember the Hymn…”Blest be the ties that bind…”