Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about bullets.

THE PROMPT: "Is there anyone in your life that you would take a bullet for?"

Hello, and welcome to a very special episode of Who The Hell Do I Think I Am??, sponsored in part tonight by Mountain Dew and pure bitterness.

I'm positive that there have been many people throughout my life that have taken the proverbial bullet for me. I know this, and have always tried to be thankful, or at the very least, respectful. I'd like to think that at least 60% of the time (or more often than not; readers' choice) I have rewarded said individuals' faith in me. And I'm deeply saddened when such rewarded faith is not the case, whatever the reason (and the fuck there ain't) may be.

I'm also positive that there may have been a lot of people I once would've taken not just a bullet for, but the whole damn clip too. In the face. At point blank range. In a Wal-Mart. Wearing a dress. While listening to country music. You get the point.

When I'm behind you, I'm all-in. You know it. You believe it like I'm an extension of everything good about you. And when I'm not, there's no gray area. I'm out of the picture. In fact, there is no picture, cuz there's no film. Cuz you left the lens cap on, dillhole.

I can count on one finger the people I would take a bullet for. And no, not that finger. Although sometimes I even wonder about that.

I have a problem with expectations and disappointments. I live and die by the phrase "He who expects little is seldom disappointed". True words, indeed. I've lived through a lot of disappointments, some self-inflicted. I've tried to manage the expectations, fair or otherwise, placed upon me, and deal with the understanding that nobody has higher expectations for me than me. Also self-inflicted at times. Why? I wish I knew. But I know that I have a hard time depending on people and trusting people. And maybe people feel that way about me, but I'll never know. I can say that I'm pretty sure those two traits are definitely something you look for in someone when it comes to deciding whether or not you'd take a bullet for them. And right now, all I've got are these words and me.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

The sexiest man alive (and the only man I'll ever admit to that being true of), after a long introductory soliloquy, performed live somewhere in the vicinity of Brother Nature . Crappy sound quality, but who cares? The man is a legend.

VITAL STATS:

Ok, that's about all I can handle for one night. Hopefully I'll be able to knock out a couple more tomorrow. Peace, sensible gun ownership, and for real, GOODNIGHT NOW!!