Snow Melt

Losing your Tempter versus Anger

The March 7, 2013 prompt for "Blogging Circle of Friends Prompt Forum" 
Are there any circumstances when you can be justified in losing your temper?

I do not think there are any circumstances when losing your temper is justified because losing ones temper is not a constructive way of dealing with anger. Anger is an emotion which is only one component of temper lose. The other component is the feeling of helplessness when confronted with a situation. I know that since November 29, 2012, I have dealt with a multitude of emotions, including anger, caused by grief. At no time, did losing my temper help the situation; in fact, it only made the situation worse. If ask this question last year, I probably would have said yes. However, experience and grief counseling has taught me otherwise.

In order to heal, in order to transcend the grief, I have to go through the grieving process which means experiencing the emotions. I have found that I get angry with myself because I sometimes feel I failed my Mother because I could not do more to prevent her from transcending into the next world. However, I have come to realized that Mom's soul chose the time to let go of her body. Mom was failing fast, when she went to the hospice care center; when my sister and I went to visit her the next day my car would not start. I had no problem starting it before and I have had not problems starting it since. I would almost swear that Mom's spirit prevented it from started so that we would not arrive until after she had ascended. I know that does not make logical sense, but that is what I believe.

I also get angry with other people because they do not understand my unique experience of grief. Losing my temper in this situation would do no good because the other person would not understand why I was angry or why I lost my temper. Sometime I get angry with Mom because she left me alone; I have come to realize that she is still with me. I still have the memories and she comes to me in a dream. The paraphrase someone (I cannot remember who) our mothers never leave us. Eventually the anger will pass, like all the other confusing emotions I am feeling. Eventually I will regain balance in my life and find a new normal.

The anger passes
evaporates
like fog touched
by the morning sun.

Thought of the Day: "You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guild, and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don't take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without conditions." The Mourner's Bill of Rights, #3