Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the most attainable.

30DBC PROMPT: "Lists, lists, lists. To-do lists, check lists, laundry lists, bucket lists ... Seems like there is a list for everything. Write a humorous list of things you are NOT going to do today."

What's up folks? It's a do-nothing day full of no good, so come along and celebrate my to-don't list with me, won't you?

TODAY I WON'T...

Walk on two legs.

Make a lot of sense.

Keep my eyes to myself.

Star in a Greek tragedy.

Pretend I don't notice duplicity.

Remember to remember to forget to forget.

Shop unattended.

File for divorce.

Throw rocks at pedestrians.

Keep a straight face.

Flash my goods at a country music concert.

Climb a mountain.

Cry you a river.

Obey listmaking.

Switch full-time to Diet Mountain Dew.

High-five old ladies and say "nice high-fastening pants".

Be defined by whatever standards of dignity I have.

Duel my rivals.

Eat yellow snow.

Complain to corporate.

I'm making no promises for tomorrow though.

BCF PROMPT: "What is your idea of the perfect day?"

A recent batch of uninspired days lived leads it hard to conceive the idea of a perfect day. I could argue that if we knew what a perfect day really was, we'd strive that much harder to make it more attainable...and they'd happen more often, making "perfect" seem more the norm and not as special or spectacular. Plus, speculating makes me kinda hate life just a little more solely for the sake of realizing in written word just how imperfect my life really is.

But at the given moment I'll just think of all of that as the troll that lives under the gnarled bridge of life, ignore it, and swim in the murky waters. A perfect day is bookended by nights of amazing sleep...or any sleep where you aren't tempted by your own awakening to take a second dose of sleeping meds. You wake up and the bed's already made. You don't have to kick anyone out, and you're almost tempted to ask a houseguest or four to stay for a breakfast they're gonna make and clean up after. The pets take care of themselves, you fly to work because you can run out of gas but not oxygen, and your boss promotes you hourly with raises retroactive to your date of birth. Then you come home, you know exactly what you're gonna spend your money responsibly fun on, take that vacation that lasts a month but costs you a half-hour of real time, and the sun doesn't stop shining. You hit that button in your shower that says "perfect temperature instantly", climb in, climb out, know what the book you've been dying to read is all about, and hop into bed knowing tomorrow will be just as busy and fulfilling. And there's no alarm clock to interrupt this, because it's not a dream.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

More stuff I don't wanna do today.

All that being said, I think it's wise to quit while I'm ahead, or at least still in the game. Have a great rest of your day, get a good night's sleep, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!