The Undiscovered Country

A Horrible, Wonderful Place

In life, we have to deal with rude people, the quiet and the charming.

For the most part, there are fewer rude people around us than the latter. Which is why when we run into a rude person, we take notice.

The internet is different. It's as though because we're somewhat anonymous, faceless, it gives us license to treat others as if they don't matter enough to be kind, polite.

Are we so filled with self-importance that everyone else doesn't deserve even the smallest courtesies?

I've been perusing a photography forum for the last few weeks. There's some good stuff there and most of the people are kind and helpful. I have found, however, more than a few instances where people chose to take certain posts out of context, and it didn't matter how much the original poster tried to explain better what they intended to say. They decided that they were right, the original poster was wrong, and they continued to leave snide comments to bolster their claim.

I get enough of that in "real" life, why would I put up with it on the Internet? Why would anyone?

Please tell me why people feel it necessary to put people down? I imagine it's to lift themselves up, but that's an illusion. We are the same people regardless of how we interact with others. If we feel inadequate for whatever reason, making others feel the same doesn't improve our lives.

Why do we put so much importance on our feelings with total disregard to the feelings of others?

People accuse many politicians, actors and other "famous" people of being narcissistic, but are we "little" people any different?

How we treat others says more about who we are on the inside than anything else. Our jobs are nothing. Everything we own or create are nothing. What matters is how people will remember us after we're gone.

With the death of both my parents in the last two years, I've been considering legacies.

My father's legacy is mostly in the friends and daughters he left behind. He was loved, respected. He treated people the way he wanted -- and yes, expected -- to be treated.

The largest part of my mom's legacy aside from her children is how she used her gift of painting to make people laugh. She taught both my sister and me the finer points of politeness. She was a true student of Miss Manners.

He and my mother both taught me that politeness and charm (even if I don't always feel it) gets you further than arrogance, entitlement-mentality and rudeness. If we keep up with the latter, soon no one will want to work with and be around us.

We end up alone. And no legacy left behind.