Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the trust switch.

30DBC PROMPT: "Write the story of being tricked by someone you trusted. How did it make you feel in that moment and are you able to laugh about it now?"

What's up y'all? Let me tell ya, I'm in no mood today. Cranky doesn't even scratch the surface. I slept wrong, so my neck is sore. I had an hour of physical therapy, which has me wishing I was still in a cast up to my knee just so I won't have to feel how much my ankle burns. Then I went to Kinney to pick up a script and the 15-20 minute wait turned into nearly an hour. So let's just effing do this up.

Stories about being tricked by someone I trusted generally piss me off. I may be a friendly person, but I'm not necessarily a trusting person anyway. If I'm behind you, I'm all-in. But if there's a remote chance I could get screwed somehow, I usually manage to make it happen, so by nature I guess that means I have trust issues.

This probably isn't the feel-good topic of the day for me. "Funny Friday" could probably go find itself another eff word and do that to itself. Repeatedly. With a wiffle ball bat.

I hate telling this story because it's really not funny, and it still kinda pisses me off to think about it (so I really try not to), but it's one of the only instances I can recall where I was tricked. And we don't laugh about it. We just don't talk about it. I believe that's known to grown-ups as "we moved on", but I'm not really good at this "being a grown-up" gig.

Y'all remember that Manti Te'o story from a few months ago? Where he had this supposed online relationship that turned out to be some dude jerkin' his chain? http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/8851033/story-manti-teo-girlfrien...

I have a similar story. Ok, I wasn't in love, and nobody died, but there was a definite case of someone advertising themselves as being someone they were not. The sick part about it is they took to this here stack of internet chicanery that I author to promote their dirty agenda. A friend, who will not be named for this entry, created a fake WDC account in order to have conversations with me that she felt, as being herself, she couldn't have. Whether she could or could not is neither here, there nor on Mars, but whatever. Eventually, there was an evident tone that this person knew something about me that I was unaware of. It got to the point that she could no longer hide the ruse from me, and had to admit her evil, evil ways...I mean, who wakes up in the morning and says, "Hey, I'm gonna lie repeatedly to the guy who has problems trusting people, because I want to hear things he probably won't tell me ever anyway"?

Took me some time, but I did eventually get over it. Unless "getting over it" means something other than "it still aggravates the fuck outta me when I think about it". So I think that means it's about that time where this section of today's entry comes to a "crashing into a brick wall" kind of ending.

BCF PROMPT: "What's the one habit you'd change about yourself, if you could simply flick a switch and have it happen?"

Cuz I'm in the mood to be introspective about my faults too. Geez. Eh, win some days, get your ass handed to you in a sequined plastic bag some days. At least I should be so lucky that it's sequined today and doesn't say "Wal-Mart".

Maybe I should flick the "don't be a dick to people when you don't get enough sleep" switch. I'd mount that sumbitch right over my bed and slap it as soon as I wake up. Better yet, hows about a switch I can flip so I just fall asleep immediately, whenever I want? I really think that might've solved at least 25% of my problems today. Or a switch that makes me want to get along better with people. Oh wait, there's a name for that. It's called booze.

Here's an idea: why not a switch that just gets people drunk without having to consume alcohol? No calories, no hangover, and all the fun of bein' rip-stinkin' sauced up. Just slap that button on your desk at work and see how much more fun your job becomes. Make it affordable, and watch it sell off the shelves. There...I just fixed the damn economy too. Look at me go!

MUSICAL BREAK!!

From probably the last really good album this band made. And it's probably not healthy that I walk around like this sometimes most of the time. Ok, well, I don't fly through newsstands or get hit by busses, but you know what I mean.

VITAL STATS:

Why do some Youtube videos even try to have ads at the beginning of them, if you have the option of skipping the ad after five seconds (and let's be honest, when you're waiting for your "Cute Cat Of The Decade" video to load for the 37th time, are you really thinking, "Gee, maybe I should make my macaroni and cheese look like that!"? I didn't think so.)?

If you get on a bus and you're so confused and unsure of where you're going because you've spent the last three days with your cable out and now you only get four channels while the rest are "black", maybe you just need to chill and read a fucking book or two. Yes, it's been those kinds of idiots trying to get along with me in the general population today.

People should know better than to talk on their cell phones in public. The people who don't know better always share way too much information. With their insurance provider. At the pharmacy, which is mad wicked busy. While crying. Next to me. And yet it's funny to me when fat people cry, for some reason. Go ahead, tell me how terrible I am. I kinda really don't care today.

Good lord, I need to go home. Can I get a reset switch? Maybe a do-over? No, wait...no do-overs unless there's a guaranteed different result. Word. Alrightey yo...peace, always pass on the right, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!