Dawnrunner

Part 3 - Chapter 13

It’s been two days since my dinner with Michael. True to my word, I haven’t told anyone his real name, and have even gotten used to calling him by his adopted moniker. More importantly, no one knows what really happened that night.
When I got back to the room, I found Rachel close to panic. I’d been gone so long, it was only natural. How could I explain that she didn’t need to worry, that I was safe with him, that I… loved him? Even now I struggle to believe the word – what right do I have to fall in love, here, in this place?
Lazarus is at the far end of the penthouse, drawing on a cigarette. Idly I wonder why I didn’t smell smoke on his breath before when we kissed, but Tanya’s quick temper pulls me sharply back to the present.
“Out of the question!” she says, emphasising each key word as though I’m a child. “Amsterdam is a stronghold. The raid at Istanbul was a great victory for us, and I will not allow you to throw that away, even for the chance to see sunlight.”
Rachel moves forward to argue, but stops when she feels my hand on her arm. Silently I will her to keep a cool head, remembering the hit I took from the lieutenant’s hand and imagining far worse if the pair gets under each other’s nerves.
“We don’t want you to give up anything,” I say, taking the unwanted position of diplomat between them. “But think about this: the Commander-General was on that train. He must have been going to Amsterdam for a reason. I’m guessing, whatever that reason is, it’s something you want to know about.”
There’s a brief moment of hesitation as Tanya glances behind her to a surprisingly unresponsive Lazarus. What is he waiting for? Sensing no change, she returns to me and her pre-prepared speech.
“It is not possible. Even if we waited for the reinforcements, it would be suicide. What few of us survived would be hunted down and killed and the war would be over: GE would win for good.”
At that moment Rachel, never one for sitting on the sidelines, interjects with her summery of the plan we’ve been working on for the last twenty-four hours.
“It’s only suicide if you attack Amsterdam. We’re suggesting you infiltrate it: find out what they’re doing there, and then get out.” A tight smirk forms on Tanya’s face, threatening to push Rachel over the edge.
“You thought of this plan?” she says, baiting my friend with obvious satisfaction. “And how exactly are we to infiltrate such a place? By now the soldiers there will have been well informed of our subterfuge at the Istanbul complex. Such a tactic will not work again.”
Rachel’s jaw is attempting to destroy itself as she stares down her new adversary. Plan or no plan, this has to end quickly or we won’t be around long enough to see any missions.
“You can’t infiltrate it,” I say quickly. “But we could…”
Lazarus looks up for the first time since we entered the room. His mouth is hanging open slightly and the cigarette looks as though it could fall free of its own volition. Tanya turns to face him but I know his good eye is staring at me. I hope desperately that Rachel doesn’t notice. Refusing to let silence descend, I continue with what details we were able to put together.
“The GE soldiers won’t expect us to be working with you. If you contact them, offer us in exchange for something – supplies, or food, whatever – then we can get in, try to find what the Commander-General was going there to see and get a message back to you. We can meet up again when you attack the Sanctuary.”
Tanya alternates between staring at me and the now completely unresponsive leader of the resistance. Something in her expression has changed and I’m convinced part of it is to do with the fact that she knows our plan could work. All that’s needed is for Lazarus to snap out of it and say something.
“It’s a good plan,” he says finally, allowing the tension in my chest to release. “And you’re right in thinking they won’t be expecting it. We’ve never taken prisoners before so they have no precedent for what we’ll do next.” A smile breaks out across my face, counter-parted on Rachel by a satisfied smirk aimed directly at Tanya.
“It will be extremely dangerous...” the slightly humbled lieutenant reminds us, “are you all prepared for this?” My heart sinks as I realised she is referring to Christy, who is practically hiding behind me and hasn’t spoken a word since we left our room. Slowly the small girl moves forward, directly into the line of Tanya’s terrifying stare.
“I want to do this,” says the eternally soft-spoken voice of Christy May-Lee. “If Carliah is right, then it will be the fastest way for me to get back home to my family inside the Sanctuary. I don’t want to be in a war, I just want to go home.”
“What if the GE soldiers realise you are betraying them? They will not hesitate to shoot you…” Christy seems to visibly shrink under the cross-examination. With all the effect of stepping into the path of an oncoming bullet, I put myself between the pair.
“Rachel and I will handle the investigation and the message: Christy just wants to go back to the Sanctuary. You can offer the same deal to the other prisoners and maximise the supplies you get in return. That way, even if we fail, it won’t have been for nothing.”
Lazarus is staring at the floor again, but the cigarette has burned out. I wonder if he has even noticed. After a few moments he pushes himself up and walks across the room towards us. Immediately I feel the tightness return, and fight to keep my breathing calm.
“It’s a good plan,” he announces, taking us by surprise. “We do not have the supplies to care for prisoners, and few if any of you have the potential to help us fight. Even if you had not volunteered to go to Amsterdam as spies, we would have likely sent you away within the week.”
Hidden in his words is a message Tanya and Rachel are not allowed to hear: he doesn’t want me to go, any more than I want to leave. My heart sinks as I realise that either way I cannot stay in Sofia, with the resistance, with him. Somewhere far away from my heart I remind myself that the middle of a rebel war is no place I belong – at least this way I can do what I left the Sanctuary to do in the first place: step out from under the artificial darkness.
“If you are going to do this, it has to be done now,” Lazarus says, interrupting my train of thought. He’s staring right into me, and I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. The strong, frightening leader is back, displacing the man who whispered his name to me in the dining room: Lazarus, not Michael, is speaking now. “The area around the city will only be sky-clear for another three days. And the longer we wait the more they will suspect you of subterfuge.”
He turns to Tanya, who has been silent since he started talking. “Send word to the other passengers: tell them to be ready to travel when the city lights rise.” With a quick salute, she turns on her heel and makes for the door, pausing long enough to get Rachel and Christy moving after her. Rachel has her hand on my arm, telling me it’s time to go, but I barely feel it. All of my attention is on finding Michael’s face, hidden behind the veneer of the ruthless leader Lazarus.

Christy and Rachel are off with Tanya explaining the plan to the other passengers, all except the part about how we are now working for the resistance. Lazarus and I are still in the penthouse, this time overlooking a map of the continent. Many of the borderlines between the countries have been removed and large areas are covered in red lines marking them as uninhabitable. The symbol of the Resistance has been drawn over Italy, with the centre on Rome. When I ask about the Dawnrunner, he goes suddenly tense.
“It is the one means of access in or out of the Sanctuary,” he replies curtly, making me flinch. “The Global Effort is afraid of the damage we can do while it is in our possession, and they are right to be. They will stop at nothing to retrieve it. That is why the Dawnrunner cannot leave Sofia without compromising the mission. If the soldiers in Amsterdam think they can retrieve it by killing you, they will not hesitate.”
I feel the pang of betrayal anew as I’m reminded once again that the train is worth more than our lives. If he notices, he doesn’t show it. “To get there, you will take jeeps. It is a day’s journey if you do not stop.”
Looking down the map I can see the Sanctuary dome – even on the simple 2D picture it looks evil, oppressive. There’s a bright red mark like a scar to the north: Darwin.
“Even with the train… how can you get in?” I ask, not really expecting an answer.
“It won’t be easy,” he replies. “There are defences, as you would expect.”
A vague memory of a file I once read pushes to the surface and I speak without thinking. “The UV gate…”
Michael looks surprised, but recovers quickly. “Yes… how did you know?”
I blush a little from the near-complement. “It was in the Dawnrunner files they gave us. But it’s not supposed to be dangerous for people.”
Michael laughs dryly. “Another lie. In truth its only purpose is to kill people – people like us. Anyone who would try to invade the Sanctuary. When you left, you would have heard the emitters working?” He waits for me to nod then finishes. “That was a show. If they were really using them you’d be dead now.”
I shudder at the idea of how I so willingly put my life into the hands of people who would kill me without a second thought. His good eye fixes on me, and I start to burn under his gaze.
I want to tell him to stop looking at me like that: that I will stay in Sofia, forever if need be. But even alone, away from the eyes and ears of the domineering lieutenant and the over-protective friend, I’m not sure I can say any of it. The truth is, and will probably always be, that this man is the most frightening person I have ever met. Nothing can change the fact that to be with him would mean giving up everything I’ve ever known: my home, my family, my friends. He is at war with my old life, the life I am about to return to, the life that in my own small way I am going to help destroy by going to Amsterdam.
That night, for the first time since I arrived in Sofia, I don’t sleep at all.