Snow Melt

Funny Friday: Directionally Challenged

The July 5, 2013 prompt for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  is
Make me laugh in any way you can.

The instructions in the e-mail containing this prompt said "...we have a very open-ended prompt for you to take in any direction you choose." Since I am directionally challenged that should not be difficult. Directionally challenged is the politically correct way of saying "Snow has no sense of direction!" Fortunately, I live in Las Vegas, so there are landmarks I can see above the tree line or whatever buildings are in my line of sight. The landmarks help, but they are not foolproof. I can still get lost because sometime I get the feeling that this town was laid out by a drunken prospector.

One of the landmarks use is the Landmark Hotel and Casino, which looks like a tower with a round UFO on top. As long as I can see it's UFO-shaped top, I know I can find my way back home. Of course that does not help when I get in one of the newer sections of Las Vegas because there are places in this town I cannot see the Landmark. When I get into one those areas, I hope that the directions I have gets me to where I am going and then home again. I am probably the only person on this planet that can get lost by following mapquest directions.

The weird thing about getting lost is that I never know how I got lost or how I got unlost again. I have to go to a new place at least three times before I stop getting lost. I know that sounds odd, but that is how my lack of direction works. If someone is with me showing me how to get to an unfamiliar section of town, I have to be driving because if I do not drive there I will never find my way back to the house again without difficulty.

My family seems to think my inability to distinguish the difference between north, east, south, and west is funny. All right, perhaps it is amusing, but I do not think its laugh out loud while shooting coffee from my nose funny. I would like to have a normal sense of direction. I would like to be able to follow my nose when I go to a new section of town and know that my nose will lead me to my destination. My nose does not lead me to my destination, unless I am looking for an open sewer, a rose garden, or any other place that has a strong aroma.

A Knock Knock Joke

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Charlie!
Charlie, who?
Charlie Horse.