Who do I still think I am??

This one's about another set of wheres.

30DBC PROMPT: "You are given the opportunity to create a kingdom of which you are the sole ruler. How would you design your kingdom? Keep in mind things like government, religion, education, etc."

BCF PROMPT: "You win a contest to build your dream home. Tell us all about it. What features will it have?"

Good afternoon, folks! I love it! The stars have collided aligned a certain way and I've been handed two electronically intrinsic (look it up...I plan on it later but for now it sounds cool and it didn't set off my spelling guru) envelopes of prompts that I originally intended to blow off because I don't wanna be rushed (what, you think I sit here trolling blog entries all day? I got places to do and stuff to go!), but they're kinda linked (or in ways at least I can pretend they are), so I'm gonna give 'em a go. Why not? I'll take a two-fer any day! Hell, it also felt like 50 degrees when I woke up this morning (rather than feeling like I'm marinating in my own lather of sweat whatever else is in that secret formula I fall asleep in when it's Mega-third-world country hot outside), so anything can happen and dreams can come true!

And just as I highlighted that last sentence to perform the italicization function of WritingML, I realized the error of my ways. Sorry y'all, but dreams don't always come true. If you're hearing that for the first time, uhhhh, mah bad, but I doubt it's the first time in life your dreams have been smashed like the poor insect not merely glancing and careening off the window of a BMW flying at 85mph down I-90 with the top down, chillin' like he didn't just get smashed by a vehicle.

But enough about you. Let's talk about me, cuz that's about all I've got time for today. So let me ask you this, since I'm out of ideas to talk about me for (or of or and or whatever)...do you really want me to be the king of your kingdom? Think about it. Carefully. Go on...I'll even wait a few minutes for you.

Time's up. Now, regardless of how your imagination tried to talk you out of me frontin' in a universe like I'm a somebody, this is my kingdom. Who's house? My house. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xMJZHrG_94

What's ironic is of the three factors to consider (cited as examples of how I'm supposed to design my empire...government, religion and education), I'd probably rate a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10. One year of college, one year as vice-chairman of a political party based in a small village of about 20,000 eligible voters where only a quarter of them actually hit the polls, and unless I'm standing up in your wedding or taking your daughter down the aisle, I ain't goin' to no church. So you do the math, multi-taskers. I'm not fit for a Ding-Dong http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ding_Dong, let alone a whole kingdom.

But I'mma tell you one thing...it would be the bestest kingdom in the history of kingdoms (once I hope I learn to type the word "kingdom" right on the first try and not skip the "g" or throw an "e" on the end of it). Yes, we would have a good time. But I'm not stupid folks, no sir-ree (or whomever that is). I would use my street smarts and savvy business skills (hey, running a drug store once in awhile did have some merits after all ) and put together a top team of people in every important category imaginable. A little stronger than a popularity contest, but not a total dictatorship either.

Everything would be done in small panels. You'd think my palace was run on solar power. Top threes from all over the mortal world (which excludes all the immortals from yesterday's entries...think; no zombies or vampires or dragons or anything else that sparkles like it's Hollywood in a light-reflective rainstorm) placed appropriately in their respective area of expertise. And each panel would have a hand-designated "+1" appointed by me and my hand to provide an outsider's insight (is that an oxymoron?) and suggestions.

And we'd all tie up together under my compound ('cuz screw that...it's my world and it ain't just a dream house...it's a damn compound). Maybe you've got triumvirates of different world leaders pullin' weight for the government...can't be lettin' fools run the streets mobbin' and lootin'. I'd let the religious people do their things, all religically, because they know more about that stuff than I do and can speak fluently in regards to church stuff. My favorite teachers would be cloned from the DNA they've left behind so they can drop knowledge on the students of our amazingly best world in the world (and yes, I'm aware that we might be violating what I said earlier about immortals...let my scientists and their "+1" figure out how to navigate that stream). Maybe I go ahead and let Jay-Z Jay Z (he's not using hyphens anymore, which is ok with me http://ballislife.com/jay-z-changes-name-to-jay-z/) sit in on the creation of sports leagues and OJ A-Rod Aaron Hernandez someone who's not a thug, cheater or killer sit in the entertainment division's ivory towers.

And about those towers...I meant compound. Complete with some bad-ass wrought iron gates that someone from where you don't know and can't see has to buzz you in (and how come no one's ever poised that question...where is the gatekeeper?? Oh wait...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnJvsBbELvk). Maybe a moat with whales instead of alligators. A kick-ass entertainment complex where I can get live (I mean live, in-house) on-demand athletic events and concerts. If I want the Super Bowl, and I want the Buffalo Bills to win it, and it's only July, I get on the global standard Blackberry Central, and I make it happen. A Beatles reunion for the halftime show? Got it.

Economic policies to cover all that? I'mma hit them too. Who needs food stamps when you can have Mighty Taco delivered to the recliner sitting poolside in my living room https://www.mightytaco.com?? And everyone's encouraged responsibly to fend for themselves...you wanna eat? Grow it. You can't grow it? Buy it. But self-sustination will be greatly encouraged at all times...later for that though, because I need to figure out who's gonna head that department up.

But back to the command center Death Star compound. I'm not gonna fill it with some freeloaders off the streets who get hanger-on jobs 'cuz they're fun to hang out with (except for maybe this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkeAzqhlkNk...he can stay), naw...they gotta serve a purpose up in here if they're gonna live in my supa-fly ginormous establishment serving as "dream house-turned-home base". And when the giant mirror ball drops outta the grand ballroom, drinks are on the house and all the day's work is completed. Why?

I don't know what else could make my house any bit more amazingly amazinger. I'm wracking my brain, but I'm afraid it's shot after going this far with such a deeply-flung subject and I fear anything more I might add would be considered mere overkill. Yeah, like your imagination didn't already scream that to you about 1/10th of the way into this nonsense. If you made it this far, immediately click the "close" icon in your internetish browser of choice, and seek attention from the proper authorities. If you do not know how to do that, hold still. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giTL1sLyrjk

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Are we sure we can handle all of this today? Of course we can! Yet, all the names of the cheesy videos I saw on MTV in the eighties have escaped me.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Wow...it's been awhile since I went so link-o-maniacal in blog form. And I wonder why sometimes it takes me all day to write a damn entry.

Sad news yesterday...saw on Facebook the hot chick that works at the library has left for another job somewhere else. I don't know what's sadder...that I can't ogle her anymore, or that she broke up with my imaginative love and undying admiration for her via a Facebook status update for a building I have no clue remembering clicking "like" on the page of. Oh well. We'll always have that moment she offered me a bottle of Wegmans' https://www.wegmans.com bottled water and addressed me by my first name.

Ya know, every night at some point I have a couple of neat ideas for this section...and I never write them down, and then the next day when I don't feel like writing at all and wind up blasting off nonsense for a few hours, I draw more blanks than a busted pencil when I reach this concluding phase of entry conduction. I should know better, but nope...I'll never learn.

And that's where I gotta wrap the rest of this up anyway. Thanks for droppin' over and chillin' in a place that someday you'll be lucky enough to see on MTV Cribs. Peace, it belongs naturally, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!