Who do I still think I am??

This one's about the walking expression.

30DBC PROMPT: "Make up your own stories for the origin of common expressions like "keep your fingers crossed," "shooting fish in a barrel," etc."

What's up, and happy weekend, folks. Well played, Windows 8.1 for refreshing this box on me again when I had 7/8ths of an entry all typed up. Recreating that is a feat that never happens. I wasn't excited about today's "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  and "Blogging Circle of Friends Prompt Forum"  prompts to begin with, but here goes.

Long before man needed big buildings to shop in, and then abandon in search of bigger ones on damn near every corner, there was a place called "nature". This friends, is the history of "Go take a hike."

Nature was a great place, full of trees and birds and animals native to specific regions. Man would sometimes visit, and occasionally inhabit there. A few of these men, handy with the saw and a pocketful of nails, would make some pockets of "nature" easier to get to by laying down consecutive planks of 2x4's to construct a path on which one could walk freely through without the elements damaging his footwear. Paths and trails could easily lend themselves to enjoying this "nature".

One day, a classic commoner named Jonah Hikke got into an argument with his wife. She was mocking him for his forays into the wilderness, saying, "I'm gonna go for a walk too...from the living room of this log cabin, well, to the other side of this log cabin!" Jonah was certainly non-plussed, and in his drunken stupor walked out and screamed, "HIKKE!!", loud enough that the rest of his buddies could hear him. And off he went, seeking to avoid his life for a little while so he could become one with "nature".

At the local fire of communal bons later that evening (known to most as a "bonfire"), many noted Jonah's absence. Mrs. Hikke was quiet. The men set out on what would later be called a "search party" for their friend. Armed with small torches and large, thin sticks to help them through the rugged terrain, they set out into the darkness to find their man. Knowing he didn't always stick to the beaten or built paths, they were prepared to go deep into the heavy forest.

As they came to the ravine, known in daylight as the border of their fair colony, they heard a faint cry in the distance. "Hikke! Hikke!" Their main man was stuck deep below the muddy hillside, screaming all he knew...his name. One by one, the group safely lowered themselves into the sketchy area. Jonah, knowing "nature" the way he did, was able to discern the crowd from the flesh-eating insects that were stealthily feasting upon him, but all he could do was mutter, "Hikke! Hikke!".

Shortly after they reached Jonah, they were devoured by a family of hungry bears.

The wives were sitting around the fire, making idle chatter, when someone had noticed the men were out later than they said they'd be. One thing led to another, and Jonah's wife had made mention of the argument they had that led him to walk away from the situation. And as these stories go, someone tells another something, and that person tells three other people their version, and suddenly it's an epidemic. As a man screams his name, a woman says, "Take a walk and cool down", and he's never heard from again.

As generations in log cabins passed and language would evolve faster than anything else, when discussions between lovers escalated, one would tell the other to "take a Hikke", meaning that "you should leave and I don't want to see you again, because you should be eaten by bears...that's how wrong you are".

This is why I don't make stuff up.

BCF PROMPT: "You have been appointed recreation director for BCOF, we have chosen to go hiking. Where are you taking us? What sights will we see? Have you been there before? Will we need any special gear?"

It should be noted first that I would turn down such a position. Mainly because I don't wanna hear any bitchin' about the activity. And furthermore, it's hard enough to get this big a group to participate in virtual activities, let alone gathering up all these souls into one environment toward a collective something-or-other.

But let's hike! Sure. Y'all meet me in the parking lot of my "downtown" Cortland building (I don't own the building, I just live there and it has a parking lot attached to it). I'll need some volunteers. Two for the cooler with the hot dogs, condiments and liquid refreshments, and another for the chips, paper products, and cooking necessities.

It's an urban hike toward one of the two parks I've been to (not including the "memorial" one) all of once each. I went to one to read a book, and the other to eat Taco Bell. One has a beach (ok, a glorified pond with a dock) and the other has a public swimming pool. Both have grass, some nature, and those cemented-in barbecue posts. Maybe they're the place to be in the summer, but it's November. We're not going there to celebrate Thanksgiving.

I'm really bad at this "hiking" thing. Last time I did it I was in Boy Scouts, and it was a trip through a neighborhood rather than a park. I think the parents got more out of it by telling us to watch out for cars and gossiping than us kids did.

But for the sake of sake-ing, it's a foot-taken path to a fun time, where it's a cookout and tomorrow be damned. Rules can go out the window of places where there aren't windows anyway either. Tent city! Let's camp out! You wanna hike? We're gonna hike the frig outta this and make it last like a memory or somethin'. "Remember that time we took a hike and it turned into a goddamned party for three days straight?" Yeah, that's what. Something like that.

And I'm sure shit like that exists, and I'm living on some kind of plane that doesn't intersect with that. I'm ok with that, because the comedown is probably worse than boring, day-to-day stuffs people deal with. "Dude, I camped and hiked for three days!" "That's cool, cuz your rent's due."

"Hiked" sounds like a word that our fourth grade English language teachers would've frowned upon us using back in the day. Like, "No, the past participle becomes 'hoked' or 'hikened'" or some other arcane form of mechanical English I was bludgeoned with required to remember in the early eighties. How quickly we forget, yet are somehow destined to remember. Take a hike on that.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Mechanical sidewalks and technology...hiking anywhere is a pastime reserved to the well-equipped and not for those who care to be tethered to the world by chairs, cords, pretenses or boundaries. Me? Well, if you're offering, I'm along.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Still no hockey emoticon. But the Sabres made a huge move this week by firing long-time GM Darcy Regier and replacing their head coach. I was all for waiting the season out with this, but there are reasons why I'm not in higher places, and better reasons why this was a good idea in bringing back Ted Nolan and Pat Lafontaine. Nolan is a great coach and motivator. He'll get the best out of the talent he has, and he's been given a raw deal by the NHL before. Patty brings credibility back to the franchise, but I hope he can bring in someone with the smarts to not only navigate the NHL's salary cap, but also encourage our young players in a changing of the culture around the entire franchise.

Arrested Development made an entire series of running jokes around clichés and inappropriate happenings. If you don't like that show, I don't like you. Good to know we're clear on that.

Windows 8.1, thank you for the two hours you kept me away from a computer so I could catch up on Rolling Stone magazines from the summer. Now stop being a douche and let me watch embedded videos on https://www.grandland.com.

Worst reasons to live in Cortland #3127: This weekend. It's "Cortaca". Cortland College plays Ithaca in football for the "Cortaca Jug" http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved.... Meaning there's a shit-ton of useless college kids wandering around here waiting for something to happen. There is nothing "happening" here. Please, take a hike. Yes, I'm that irritated by them. And no, it's not jealousy...I just don't want to be bothered.

I think I had more to add, but I'm done with this for another day. Might be naptime, or maybe just snack time, but I'm out of Cheetos and I'm not going anywhere (even across the street) in this mess of "college kids gone wrong" today. Peace, go take a hike, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

This is why you always leave a note.