Who do I still think I am??

This one's about remembering to forget.

30DBC PROMPT: 'What is your first reaction when you forget something? Take us through your initial terror and following thoughts. Anecdotes are helpful!"

Welcome back folks. Glad you could be here to join me in what is sure to be another memorably forgetful entry. That's what I love the most about writing...you read it, laugh, and it's over with, and tomorrow you're like, "Did I just read something the other day? I coulda sworn I did..." and it feels like indigestion or gas, but you blame it on the dog and we're cool.

I, like most of you, prefer not to forget things. And I'm sure this is the case as well: you remember when you forget something roughly .0000012 seconds after it becomes too late to do anything about it. Lock your keys in your car or apartment? The milli-vanillisecond that door shuts you're trying to stuff your entire hand in the keyhole trying to unlock the door. Addressed and sealed that credit card payment and dropped it in your good ol' U.S. of A. postal box while the check is sitting on your dining room table? That's one Forever stamp that you're never gonna see again. Parted ways with your dinner guests at the fancy restaurant, paid the tab, came home, watched some Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, fed the fish, and thought you'd treat yourself to some late-night leftovers? Too bad fool; you left your styrofoam container of half-eaten pasta in the back of a New York City cab.

Let's be honest with each other. We all know what the first reaction is when this occurs. Even you proud teetotalers who claim to never have uttered a foul epitaph in your very pristine lives have, in some variation, allowed yourselves to slip a notch. We curse. We damn that moment with a single word, which usually comes after "Oh" and is typically ended with an exclamation point. Because we're all different versions of the same species, that singular word may differ, but it's the universal way of acknowledging your deficiencies as a person without actually taking the blame. It's a pretty genius concept, I know...that and our opposable thumbs make us dominant over like 65% of the animal kingdom, and that equals majority rule, and suddenly we're dealing with equations again, which I thought I said last time I promised never to get into when writing. So we'll save that for never later.

You can't deny it; it's human nature to not blame ourselves for our mistakes, and if we're not blaming others, we're rationalizing it away in some other twisted fashion so others feel sorry for what is otherwise our own stupidity. I'm not going to give examples...let's just say I tried to, and typed it out, but it played off like a terrible stereotype, so I deleted it. See? That last sentence right there was an example of how we make excuses!! I'm human, just like you! Just...like...you.

And after that sheer moment of absolute dread that something's been forgotten, that's when we find out just how low-down rotten and evil we are. We're plotting and scheming and trying to figure out ways of reclaiming whatever it is we've left behind, whether it be through standard measures or ill-conceived notions. Within five minutes we've mapped out an entire floor plan of the house and how we're going to crawl through vents and air ducts like fucking Batman in order to get back inside, and we'll dangle sticks bound together with leaves and grass to loop through a key ring, and we'll be all stealth about it so as not to wake the baby we don't have. Meanwhile, you've been pacing up and down your driveway, passing an open window you can just crawl through any time you're ready to give up on your superhero dreams and get on with your life revolving around keys.

And why do we do this? Because when we start to panic, we don't think. Immediately, our minds go from being one taut rope to a million shredded strands of fibers shooting in every incalculable direction. Every scenario makes sense, except the one that actually makes the most sense. And like Yoda said, "There is no try", so we just do. And that's how people become YouTube famous.

BCF PROMPT: "Name three songs you could be convinced to sing at karaoke."

Three? Just three? I'm gonna have a hard time narrowing it down to three.

If there's one thing you must know about me, it's that I have no qualms about singing karaoke. Disclaimer: That does not mean I can sing. It just means I have no shame. You're looking at someone who used to frequent a local bar as part of a larger group of individuals, and this bar featured karaoke seven nights a week. Seven. Last I checked, that was damn near every night. I could walk in, nod to the DJ, have a few drinks, slip a $20 in his tip jar, give him a list of five songs, kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug and then jet.

Blogging and karaoke are pretty similar, if you think about it. For the most part, the audience is full of people you don't know. You're performing for likely less than a quarter of the amount of people you think are paying attention. And what sounds great in the moment is almost always a bad idea when you go over it the next day.

In keeping with the tagline of every WDC-sponsored "mission" that comes across my newsfeed every so often (We love overachievers!), I will present to you...this one-time, special event. A complete list of ten songs I would sing for a packed house at karaoke, were I to perform a concert at a local bar near you. Don't forget to tip your waitresses.

1) "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" - Eddie Vedder http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ix-cJZv5vc

2) "Come Together" - The Beatles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axb2sHpGwHQ

3) "Float On" - Modest Mouse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk

4) "Courage" - The Tragically Hip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhpezwGtDEg

5) "Clint Eastwood" - Gorillaz http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoQYw49saqc

6) "Pour Some Sugar On Me" - Def Leppard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIB9Y4OFPs

7) "Sweet Caroline" - Neil Diamond http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vhFnTjia_I

8) "Clumsy" - Our Lady Peace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnYyyFe1saA

9) "Faith" - Limp Bizkit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-EdCNjumvI

10) "What I Got" - Sublime http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Uc3ZrmhDN4

And if you're a really good audience, you'll hear as an encore:

11) "Warm Machine" - Bush http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfZaeE_IxIQ

12) "Nothing As It Seems" - Pearl Jam http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSSr5H7h5CA

13) "Don't Look Back In Anger" - Oasis http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8OipmKFDeM

Of course, no one's asking me to sing at their wedding anytime soon, so I'm available for almost any occasion: birthdays, bah mitzvahs, funerals, threesomes, lunar eclipses...cash only, please. Earplugs and costume changes aren't included.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

Not only does my resume feature some insane karaoke abilities, but I'm also fairly proficient at Rockband for xBox, including scoring 100% every single time I handle the vocals to all three parts of this sing. The tv even says "Awesome!" afterwards. Seriously, how come I don't have a job that takes advantage of the stuff I'm actually good at?

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

I think I've written two blog entries in the last week, and somehow I managed to win "Blogger Of The Week" in the "Blogging Circle of Friends " . At this rate I may have to create a second WDC account to keep all of my virtual trophies in.

I have to say great job to Emily , Brother Nature , and especially Wordsmitty ✍️ for another great issue of Blogging Bliss, which should've hit your inboxes first thing on the bright this morning. You can catch some back issues here: "Blogging Bliss Newsletter Archives" , and as always, if you have a question or comment for any of the editors (or anyone in our humble little community as well), feel free to drop it off over here: "Blogging Bliss Newsletter Forum" .

I know what you didn't do today, seein' as how you were all busy with your face in the "Invalid Item"  and checkin' out the Editor's Picks for November. You didn't beg and plead go to WDC's Suggestion Box and casually mention how a few of us around here would like a hockey emoticon. You know how I know? 'Cuz we still ain't got one. So you should go do that, like, after you're done reading this entry. Because the way I hear things, a certain deity makes Don Cherry wear an uglier suit for every day that passes without a hockey emoticon. And there can't be that many horrible-looking suits left in the world, so get on that already, would ya? Oh, and please?

Ok, well, I think I've covered all of my contractually-obligated and otherwise unnecessary meanderings for another day or so. If there are no more questions for me, then I think we're done here. Peace, you can't front on that, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!