Snow Melt

A Butterfly Larva in a Cocoon

Today, December 11, 2013, I feel like a butterfly larva in a cocoon. I feel as if I'm ready to transform into a winged insect from a ground crawling worm. I feel like there si something I need to do before breaking out of my cocoon, but I'm not sure what. I feel frustrated that getting out of this house isn't going as fast as I'd hoped or planned. I thought I would be out of the house by now; perhaps I should say hoped I would be out, but I'm not.

Again this month I'm faced with bills I can't pay and am going to have to ask someone for help. I don't like asking for help, but there is on other option because if I don't pay the power bill by Monday then the power will be turned off. I feel helpless. I want to cry. I want to give up. I can cry, but I can't give up. I also want to be warm again. I turned the thermostat off for a while and hoped that would bring the bill down, but it didn't and I'm faced again with the damn bill. I'm tired of having to worry about paying bills. I'm tired of living in a house I can't take care off.

I'm tired of being cold. I don't know why this December seems colder then last year, but it does. I had to turn the heat back on, but it doesn't seem like it's any warmer. Perhaps part of the problem is my health and physical condition. Maybe it's because I can't focus on or complain about anything except the cold. The more I complain about the cold the colder I feel. Right now I'm sitting with a blanket wrapped around me, but it doesn't seem to help. My shoulder are warm and the rest of me is cold.

I have a parody of two write, but this evening I can't focus on writing the parody. I can chose from two different songs or I can combine the two songs into one poem. I can think of a start, but I can't seem to get past the first couple of lines. Maybe I should listen to the songs again before I get off line. I still have work to do, so I can listen to them a couple of times while I'm writing or reviewing or whatever I'm going to do until 9:00 Pacific Standard Time.

I wonder if a butterfly larva in a cocoon would feel as cold as I do tonight? I doubt it because I think the cocoon would be like the warm wool blanket I snuggled under when I was a child. I wonder what ever happened to that blanket, not that I could use is because I suspect I've developed an allergy to wool. I guess a person can develop an allergy to wool or anything else.