Blogocentric Formulations

Day 2: Reliving Life as a 19-Year-Old

*Written as part of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" .

Day 2 Prompt: If you could go back to when you were 19, would you? Would you prefer to have all the knowledge you have now, or start completely fresh?

The prospect of going back in time if often tempting to me. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and the possibility of being able to go back and erase some of them certainly has its appeal. But even if I could go back with all the knowledge and insight and experience I have now, it's pretty much a given that my life would take a different path than it's taken. I don't necessarily believe that it's a drastic as The Butterfly Effect where a single decision could change the entire world... but I think it's a safe bet that changing a choice I made in my own life would change the way my life turns out.

When I really think about my life as it currently exists, I'm incredibly blessed. I have a job I love, hobbies that excite me, a wife that I'm crazy about, and family that I love, enough money to pay the bills with enough left over to enjoy myself a little. Sure I could nitpick if I really wanted to, but there isn't a whole lot in my life that I wish were different. So what would going back to when I was nineteen accomplish? Maybe I could have avoided a few speed bumps in my career or choices in my personal life that caused rifts with the people I love... but then again, maybe altering those things would change them for the worse. If I went back and was able to succeed at my career sooner, maybe I wouldn't appreciate the successes as much as I do now that I know I've earned them. And if I were able to avoid particularly bad fights with my wife or family members, those moments would have been avoided and I would still have the benefit of having learned something from the experience... but they wouldn't have that same benefit. Our lives would eventually catch up to where they are now, but how different would it be if the other person didn't learn from the experience of that one fight. Would it inevitably play out eventually? And if so, would the new confrontation be different - maybe even worse - than the one I went back to circumvent?

Not to mention the fact that the years between when I was nineteen and where I am now weren't all rosy and idealistic. That was smack dab in the middle of trying to finish college, trying to find a job after college, trying to create a career for myself in the middle of a massive recession... even if I could take the knowledge I have now back with me, there's no guarantee that things would be any easier if I were to make different choices.

Maybe that sounds a bit like I'm afraid to go back and change anything, but for me it's more of an issue of not really having a reason to go back. I'm happy with my life and far more interested in what's ahead of me rather than going back and reliving what's behind me.