Shouts From Down Under

Unfairness on Writing Dot Com. I'm just so ashamed...

After the SM's post about the website reviewing website called sitejabber, I of course read the reviews placed there, and was intrigued by what the first reviewer felt / perceived had happened to them.

http://www.sitejabber.com/reviews/www.writing.com#1

They felt unfairly treated.

They felt there was no recourse and that the site managers were unapproachable, or at least, couldn't see clearly a way to communicate their angst and anger; their feelings, in an effective manner and resolve the problem (s).

I had a problem a while back with one of the contests where the entry conditions seemed a bit ambiguous. I wrote a story, and was annoyed with how it was rated in the contest, particularly on points that I noted were indicated as unimportant in the contest entry description.

BUT. Here's the thing. While I felt annoyed, and said so, I received replies that clarified the whole thing. I received no ban, suspension, shouting, red faced anger or throwing of screwed up bits of paper or pen lids. I received no refund or gp's.

In fact, nothing happened other than I understood more clearly the requirements of the contest, realised that the rating system they used in that situation was not singling me out or unfair, and that I just needed to step back and see that it wasn't me that was somehow picked on, or whatever.

I have to say, that the person who communicated with me was very pleasant, and in no manner or way came across as condescending, secretly critical or laughing, or any other paranoid stuff that a person like me has radar for, if I am off my tablets and that comment is actually serious.

So this review, while I get the frustration, the angst, the feelings of isolation and unfairness, I think it's a thing where if the person were really serious and genuine about staying on a site, had a proper love for their craft, and had some sort of depth to their personality AT THAT TIME, then they would persevere, keep trying, keep emailing and back down a little on their demands, attitude, anger and unfairness detection.

You have to chuckle (as The ScaryMaster did) , about human nature, how we tend to avoid getting to that thing we really want to communicate, rather than backing off but all the while calling obscenities over our shoulder, to sneak off and write a nasty review somewhere else.

Also, the irony that as a writer, this person whose hobby or otherwise was to create worlds of conflict, confrontation, colourful dialogue, complex issue treatment, and a whole raft of other artificial world scenes, then couldn't handle their own life problem.

Instead they created a scene for real. . Yes. It's a real worry. I'm worried. My phone charger is probably worried. As are the bricks around our wood heater.

I'm thinking of all this in context with writing and our evasion of confrontational situations. I'm guilty of it. I'm guilty of flying off the handle, instead of just calmly facing the problem, nutting it out, methodically doing something about it.

I'm guilty of knowing what to write in scenes in a story, knowing what people would say, their feelings, emotions and gestures, their stance, expression, bodily reactions and even the state of their dress in whatever shouting match or quiet and dangerous seduction is fleetingly being played out behind a spouses back.

Oh yes. You can study that naughty sneaky stuff all you want, even the abuse, racism, anxiety, underlying deep anger and hatred, along with the happy go lucky, comfortably satisfied and expensive brand name smugness. It's all around you as you sit people - watching and absorbing characteristics and mannerisms like a giant amoeba floating on the nuance and astigmatism flotsam of humans in the gene pool around you.

But in the problems we face for real, in this world, and especially..ESPECIALLY with each other, the closer the more difficult, these problems can become so scary that we do anything but face up to the simple humble thing of communicating what we really want to get across.

Here's an example today. Here at our house. (My psychologist said to me a while back; a lot of this worlds problems particularly in relationships, would be solved if people just sat down and got across what they really mean to another)
We are preparing to go camping. That's ok. But other times we've been and with everyone's excitement and good intentions, in the end it's been up to my wife and I to do all the work.

So it kind of can get a little irateifying. Yes that is a word. A new word I made up just now.

Today I said to my son, I don't want to be left doing it all. He was suddenly off to the gym. And so I said to him a little more shortly than I should have perhaps, well this is what puts me off camping. I get dumped with the workload.

He didn't say anything and later went on his way. He's paying for the entire campsite fees. So he's keen to go, and I know he will do his bit work wise. He'd a hard worker, a builder just signed off as a tradesman, so he knows what it is to work his backside off. You don't get to be a builder by sitting in the crib-room texting...

But I was thinking later, and I said to our daughter, my real meaning, when I am honest with myself is this. I don't want to be preparing for camping, doing all this stuff and not have you here with me. I want your company! I'm lonely for my grown sons and daughter's company.

That there is the real thing I'm saying by getting annoyed that they aren't helping with the work. Yes that's an issue, but really isn't what I'm communicating.

We all need to PAY ATTENTION TO THIS.

Because getting things across accurately is what it's about in writing.

Have I got this across properly in this blog? Do you understand what I'm saying with this blog entry?

That I'm not ashamed at all? That there really isn't any unfairness (unless it was unintentional and that is 100% fixable with communication) on writing dot com?

. (Look what came in the mail; perhaps I'm biased?? )

That I respect those people who run this site, and all the members who come on here to expose their very special private inner writing and thoughts to us all?

That I think the person who wrote that review was just at a stage of being unable to see the forest for the trees. I hope they did return here and resolved the issues.

That's what I'm talking about.

Plus the word that , actually, and got should be avoided.

By the way, if you look closely at the pic in this entry, that's my Extension of friendship to those that matter, on writing dot com.

My first name.

Sparky