Who do I still think I am??

This one's about to blow up, so listen to me.

30DBC PROMPT: "You have 30 seconds to give a speech to the entire world population and after you finish, you will die. What would you say?"

What's goin' on? Wow...this prompt is absolutely brutal...and I don't mean that in a bad way necessarily, but this harkens back to the old days of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  (when it was under different management) 'cuz I swear we had like an entire week's worth of morbid prompts. This one, however, straight up tells you you're gonna die. Like I'm talkin' to my boy, and I'm tellin' him we're gonna go out to the Burger King drive-thru, but afterwards you're gonna die. You're gonna score big at the casino tonight, and wake up broke. You're gonna lock eyes with a thousand people at the same time, and go home blind. Sure, you can tell the entire friggin' world whatever you want, so long as you understand that you have a thirty second time limit, and when you're done, you are going to die.

Now ain't that some bs??

Actually, before I get into this, can I make a suggestion? I make a motion that every day, when the new prompt is dropped, we get an explanation as to what prompted the previous prompt. Like, an answer key, kinda. I wanna know why it was wanted to be known...was it a topic that came up in conversation? The message in a fortune cookie? A philosophical debate in class? Is what we answer being interpreted against another meaning of something deeper...like "if you like the color red and the scent of coffee, your true astrological character is Pisces (even though you're a Scorpio)"? These are the things I think about when I can't think of anything remotely resembling a proper response to the prompt. Carrying on then...

Fellow citizens of the world, please listen up. I'm only gonna say this one time, because I only have one chance to say it. Some of you have been doin' some real stupid stuff to other countries (and to other people), and you need to knock it off. It's costing me a lot more to say this to you than you'll have to gain by being super jerk-holes to each other, and there's way more benefits to getting along together than frontin' like you got "nuclear weapons" or "a no-return policy after thirty days" or "my god says the gay people will give me cooties". Y'all need to learn how to pick your battles better and let some shit slide. Peace, love each other, I'm outta here...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsstzfp6nyo.

Sometimes I wonder what's really gonna cause the end of the world...too many people not getting along for all the wrong reasons, or everyone panicking over common sense reigning and not knowing how to handle it. Like, "Hey y'all, this is all well and good...everyone's recycling, being courteous and polite, we all know the difference between 'y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e' and 'y-o-u-r', so how can this go wrong?" and then all the sudden the reverse of the Big Bang happens and the world implodes and sucks everything into its core and Earth is swallowed by the solar system and turned into one giant parking lot for the moon. You don't want that to happen, which is another reason why you should listen to me: if I'm goin' down in 30 seconds, I'm takin' the whole effin' universe with me.

BCF PROMPT: "All children have to be deceived if they are to grow up without trauma.” Kuzuo Ishiguro "Do you agree or disagree? What are some popular deceptions that should be told to children? Do you believe it is more traumatic being deceived as a child or more traumatic dealing with the harsh realities of the world at a very young age?"

Man...if I was wearin' a shirt with a collar right now, I'd be tuggin' on that somethin' fierce tryin' to get away from this prompt. It's not easy, I'll say this much. I know this is a personal thing for a lot of people, and I'll flat-out admit that my frame of reference on this topic is probably vastly different than the majority. I can't speak from a parent's perspective because I don't have kids, but I was a kid once, so I guess that qualifies me on some level to participate...and I hope y'all understand in no way am I trying to trivialize or minimize anybody else's situations or circumstances. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a very special after-school episode of "Who do I still think I am??" , presented by Ford Econoline vans with "Free Candy" spray-painted on the side.

At the very basis of the statement, the Ishiguro quote is true...at some point, something's going to happen in a child's life that is beyond the parent's control, and it's how that moment is used in a teaching purpose that determines the extent of the damage done to the kid. I'm not saying you should be proactive in trying to teach kids a lesson by seeing how many different ways you can break them, but kids have to learn at some point that there's more to life than lollipops, toys and the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese.

And it often doesn't matter how you spin it; once the goldfish hits the water inside the toilet bowl, there's no turning back. It's healthier than the alternative: "Daddy, why does my goldfish always float on his back?" "Uhhh, well, that's how he likes to chill." "He sure chills the most, daddy!" No. Bad, wrong, and no. Because kids find things out, regardless of what you try to shield from them. Some little jerk in your kid's school is likely ruining everything you want your kid to believe until he/she is 35 years old as we speak, and there's nothing you can do 'cept fess up. It's better to have to deal with an hour, or a night, or a few weeks of poor heartbroken kid than it is trying to cover up lie after lie after sacred lie ever since you told 'em that making funny faces would cause their own face to permanently freeze like that forever.

Sure, ok, let them believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and all that other stuff...c'mon, ya gotta let a kid be a kid about certain things. That's normal. But the important scenarios- the things that are gonna matter or affect them whether they're 8 or 88- you gotta be as gently real as you can. It's not easy, but in the long run it's better that way. At a younger age, there's more time to process why things happen and different ways to show examples (if situations dictate that out of necessity). When kids get older and try to deal with certain things, it can be like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube...it all goes back to the Mario Cuomo quote I've referenced in the past: "Life is not joy, but motion". Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know that the struggle goes beyond the skin of their iPhone and that not all mommies and daddies do the science projects.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I thought about going with this today because I'm in that kind of mood (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaBVV97GNLc) but I'm gonna take a minute and challenge myself to come up with somethin' else. Ugh...I'm so over trying to think and do anything more than I need to with my fingers. Listen to this instead.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

$3054.82: Freaking amazing article that pinpoints exactly how much technology has changed since 1991, and it's by one of the best writers in Buffalo. http://www.trendingbuffalo.com/life/uncle-steves-buffalo/everything-from-1991-ra...

In lieu of any kind of discussion regarding sports this evening, I'd like to share something I came across earlier today regarding interviews that happen (usually) postgame. I'm sure pretty much every non-fan of any sport feels this way. Bonus fun: Plus, I think the thing in the helmet kinda looks like a cat.

Well, I've got some time to figure this out (and it's what I should've been doing all evening rather than what I'm doing right now, but admit it, part of you is glad we've both reached this point in our evenings), and I know I teased the idea about a year and a half ago only to get as far as being turned down for financial aid, but if everything goes as well as it sounded this afternoon, I may be finally going back to school come summer or fall (classes for the local community college here start on Monday, so this semester is out of the question). I just have to figure out what I wanna be when I grow up what I'd like to be studying and what I wanna do, and if it's something I'll need to become a student for (versus vocational training). I've got a few ideas but I don't want to get too far ahead of myself in case some of the programs I've looked into and have met with people about happen to fall through. But I'd be lying if I said the thought of being able to go back to school doesn't appeal to me.

There's a contest coming up for WDC'ers that I thought I'd share...most of you are probably aware of it already, but it bears mentioning in this spot of internetical buffoonery primarily because I'm going to be one of the judges (I know, I know...I'll be in a position of authority! Keep all snickering to a minimum. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx4jn77VKlQ). I hope you'll check it out and at least consider it.

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Well, it's been a long freakin' day...spent the morning sweeping and mopping a floor at the highway department, which is equivalent to straightening a toy store and then letting a bus full of kindergarteners in. Now I ache all over; I just wanna rip the metal plate out of my leg and beat myself over the head with it for allowing my body to get broken in the first place. I think that's my cue to go find something better to do with the rest of my evening. Peace, we're the best planet on the face of the Earth, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!