A Book Nerd's Inner Voices

And It Starts

Putting yourself out there is hard. It's like baring a piece of your soul and asking people---usually strangers---to love you. Or just give you a chance.





When I first started writing, (I think it's been eleven years now) I showed my work to very few people. Those that did get to see it were people I trusted completely. Over the years that number has expanded, but it wasn't until recently that I let people I didn't actually know read, judge and criticize my writing. It was like laying my dreams at their feet---your feet---and begging them not to stomp all over them.





I write this today because I have received my first rejection letter of 2014 on my quest for a literary agent. And while I know it's just part of the process, it still stings a bit. In 2013 I stopped querying agents for a while to do another edit on my manuscript. At least, that's what I told myself. In reality I think I was just tired of being told no. No matter what we tell ourselves about persevering and never giving up, every rejection is a blow to a writer's confidence.





But don't worry, (and I won't either) I really have been working on my novel and I don't back down so easily. I know that the writers who succeed and become authors are the ones that kept going, kept pushing and who got knocked down one day but got up the next to try again.





Like I always tell my daughter, (though she be only three) you only fail if you give up. It doesn't matter if you succeed right away or sometimes even at all, it only matters that you try. That way if you do end up changing your dream, you know you gave it everything you've got and there will be no regrets. One of these days I swear she's going to say that back to me and I hope it's because she's reminding me, not because I've disappointed her.





All traditionally published authors (and some indie ones as well) have gone through this process. They made it and so will I. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that.





And to vent. Because sometimes venting does wonders for the soul.