Internal musings and thoughts

Can't Go Back

         I'm kneeling on the floor with my arms raised towards the sky wondering how I've come to this place?  Where do I start concerning the regrets that I

have?  I would definitely take a trip back starting around my high school days.  I would've loved to have had a magic potion that would've catapulted me over

those years.  I didn't like those years at all. 

         I didn't do very good in school.  There were subjects that I'm almost sure were created by a dark, demented creature.  I blame every bad grade I got on

that creature.  I don't know if there really was ever a dark creature, but I need to blame something.  I know my years in high school were disgraceful due to my

incomprehension of anything mathematical. 

         I wish I had applied myself more fervently.  I believe that my life would've taken a more successful route than the place where I'm at now.  I apply myself

with more vigor since I've gotten older and more mature.  I've taken my experiences that pushed me through high school to input more zeal into my daily

activities.  I didn't make high school a top priority on my list of things to do. 

         My parents weren't on the same page as me.  They didn't want to hear any excuses.  I never missed any days except for sickness.  If I wasn't sick I was

going to school.  I wasn't happy with them, but I got over it. 

         I wish I had been accepted into a respectable university so that my success level wouldn't be so entry level.  I messed that opportunity up long time

ago.  I wonder if there will be a time when I can go back to school?  If that becomes a reality, my confidence level, success level, and ultimate outlook will take a

giant leap.  I would be able to bury my regret. 

         Maybe that magic potion will fall in my lap.  I can't go back to high school since I'm way past that age bracket.  I don't want to kneel anymore due to its

getting harder to get up from that position.  I know that the place I'm at is a stepping stone to the next thing on my list.  I will like the years that are ahead.