A Book Nerd's Inner Voices

Soul mates

Do you believe in soul mates? I think I do. Not necessarily that there is one perfect match for each of us, because really, I believe there could be many. And nobody's perfect. What I mean is that there are certain people we all come across that we just connect with. They are people that from the very first instant get a glimpse inside to the very core of you and know exactly who you are. And they help you realize it as well.





I don't think it's always easy to be with your soul mates, as friends or otherwise. I think sometimes it's heartbreaking and terrifying, maddening and occasionally destructive. But at the same time it's gratifying and fulfilling, earth shattering and at times downright magnetic.





They are the people we're drawn to, perhaps over and over if you believe in past lives. The people we need to help show us who we are, who we can be and who we never hope to become. The people who can look at us and see the truth of our character, for better and for worse. You can't expect them to always be kind. Kindness gets you nowhere when what you need is the dark and twisted truth that lies within you. No, they are the ones that help you see who you truly are, layer by layer. And then they help you accept it.





There are a few people that I've had that instant connection with. Those people who have seen the worst, deepest parts of me and still make me feel like I'm worth everything in the entire world, even when I can't see it myself. They are the few that I can tell absolutely anything to. And I have, without question. For the most part.





I've always wished that those people could see themselves through my eyes. I wish they could see how wonderful and magnificent they are, one in particular. To know that every doubt they have ever had about who they really are, while well founded to them, is just that: a doubt. It has no hold in reality.





It's funny, but the people I'm thinking of are actually all quite similar---while remaining drastically different---and in this case, all three are male. From the moment I met each of them, there was an unexplainable bond that has baffled me, but which I can't deny. I see him as vulnerable, yet invincible. Flawed, yet magnificent. It is his ability to live in darkness but still have his soul shine so bright, relatively untainted, that speaks to me so fully. And yet, he usually cannot see it. He looks in the mirror and sees someone with no true confidence in himself, who possibly does not deserve happiness. Oh, if only he could see what I see. He would never doubt himself or his worth again. (Actually, his ego would probably swell to the size of a house, so maybe he should see through more of a rosy haze.)





Then there are other types of soul mates. Those that you bond with who just get you, and those that balance you out. Sometimes the old adage that opposites attract is true and it's the differences between the two of you that make whatever relationship you have work. I have been blessed with a few of these people. Whether they fit into the above category or are strictly in this one, I thank God every day for the amazing gifts I have been bestowed in my friends and my family. And for my brother, who is the other half of my soul.





There are many definitions of soul mates. Most I think are too narrow to truly fit. But what if the many definitions describe the different types of mates our souls need? As humans, we are faceted creatures, akin to diamonds. So many different parts of our personalities make up one brilliant whole. Some of us are more flawed than others, but still, we come together nicely (we hope). So it stands to reason that there are some souls that are fated to meet. They don't have to be the same personalities to fit together with one part of our soul or another, but they do have to fit in a way that is magic in and of itself.





And, if you find one---or sometimes many---that brings out the best in you, challenges you to be the best version of yourself that you can, shows you when you fail and helps support you as you pull yourself up, hold onto them. Whether you believe in soul mates or not, they found you in this life for a reason, even if that reason was to serve a purpose and then leave.





I guess it's a play on the saying, "everything happens for a reason." Maybe we're all circling around the same people in every life, just waiting to learn the lessons we need to learn. I plan to soak up all the knowledge I can, and for those who were just a passing thing---and for the one whom I really no longer speak to---I'll take heart in the idea that maybe, just maybe, I served as much a purpose for you as you did for me.





Because remember, soul mates, however fleeting are mates for a reason and that reason is never just one sided.